He says he has been explaining the same concepts for 18 years. But this does not prevent his legion of followers from growing day by day, which means that his speech not only convinces new generations, but continues to seduce the previous ones. Victor Küppers (Eindhoven, 1970), PhD in Humanities, degree in ADE and leading lecturer in the world of positive psychology, was planning to give a single lecture on March 12 – at 8:30 p.m. – at the Coliseum theater in Barcelona. At least this is what the company organizing the event, Mentes Expertas, had foreseen. But such was the speed with which the tickets were sold out (and this considering that the theater has a capacity of more than 1,000 seats) that they had to schedule another one. the time Unattractive: 4.30 p.m. Despite this, another full until the flag. What makes Küppers so attractive to the audience? La Vanguardia wanted to ask him about it.
How does he explain his success?
We live in a society that has so many worries that people listen to anyone who talks about joy and excitement. I must also say that I have been doing it for 18 years and I think there is a bubble.
What means?
There is a bubble of speakers and conferences. Before, about five years ago, there was not so much ego, so much manager and so much nonsense. We speakers have believed that we are more important than those who listen to us. Moreover, this bubble is demagogic. There are those who verbalize messages of the type: “If you want, you can”; “You have to fight to be happy”; “Chase your dreams”… There is a demagogic bubble of lectures about happiness, when positive psychology is not demagoguery, but a science.
Is that why you avoid the word happiness in your talks?
There is a phrase that I really like that says that being happy is not being happy. We can’t always be happy. Satisfaction with life has nothing to do with happiness, but with serenity, effort, kindness… In short, with the way of being. It’s true, we can’t always be happy, but we can be proud of being who we are. I believe in being a good person, in helping others and you can do all this whether you are happy or not. Pursuing happiness is complicated because life has a very large share of suffering.
Is that why he claims that the most important goal that one can aspire to is to be a good person?
Yes. Besides, it’s what will make us feel better. And I don’t say it, those who know say it. Do you want to feel good and live happily? Try to be a good person and help others.
Seen like this, it has a point of selfishness: “Help others to feel good”.
The French Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard explains it very well. He asked himself: “Who are you doing it for, for you or for the other person?”. And he came to the conclusion that if you do it for a third party it is not selfishness, although it is true that the consequence is that you feel better, without being the main objective. Altruism is not selfish.
His conference was entitled Living with joy. Is possible?
We have to fight to try, although it is not always possible. What we cannot do is resign ourselves. If you’re discouraged, if you’ve lost your enthusiasm, if you don’t enjoy your work, if you’re just waiting for the weekend to arrive… you can’t settle for it, you have to react. Maybe it’s the usual in the world we live in, but it’s not normal. The day a person assumes that discouragement is normal, he does nothing to change it. You resign.
But not all discouragements have the same root.
Is true. There are two types of problems. Some correspond to the “drama” category, because life has dramas. do you have one You have the right not to smile, not to have cheer, joy. I call the other type of problems “circumstances to be solved”, and when a person has this type of setbacks and no dramas, he is lucky. It is necessary to relativize.
“Your spirit is not infinite: if you don’t take care of it, you will lose it”, he says.
It’s like this. There must be an effort on our part because the environment tends to discouragement. It takes effort to choose our best attitudes, although you won’t always succeed. But that’s the challenge, trying to choose your best attitude regardless of the circumstances. The right to employment exists, yes. The relief is therapeutic, but it must be of reasonable duration.
Also, our attitude is up to us, you say, it’s not a genetic thing, like intelligence.
There is an author called Stephen Covey, who for me is the best I have ever read and known, who explains that between what happens to you and your reaction there is a space, and that is our freedom. In this space is where you have to try to choose your best attitude. Intelligence either touches you or it doesn’t; but we can choose the attitude. However, it is not easy at all.
Hence the importance you place on managing discouragement.
David Hamilton [a PhD in organic chemistry who researches kindness as therapy] says that the quickest, easiest and most effective way to live happily is to be kind to everyone. It’s a great way to live in a society where we are becoming less kind. There is a phrase that I really like, that I read from some author and that says: “Don’t speak badly of anyone or anyone”. Just be nice, you’re a little more in the mood. Obviously, there’s more to it, too. I strongly defend the sense of humor. Also to stop from time to time, so as not to be dragged by what surrounds us. We live in the showcase society.
What means?
I was telling my students the other day [he teaches at the University of Barcelona]: in our society what you look like counts more than what you are. It is the society of being seen, of figuring, of exhibiting, of the fictitious, of the wrapping, of Instagram… We worry more about what they will think of us than to stop to think about how we want to live.
