Knowing who we are takes time. And it is even more difficult to find our identity as human beings. On a designated day like 8-M, thousands of women take to the streets to demonstrate, but there are also those who, at the moment, do not feel safe to do so.
Women who at some point have suffered sexual abuse have an added double job: finding their identity as women. “I have had to rethink it many times. I am a woman, black, a survivor. You identify with everyone and none at the same time,” explains Carme Diaby, activist and trainer against sexual abuse.
His case, however, is not isolated. Mireia Chaos, creator of the (in)comfortable Truths podcast, did not accept her female body and was afraid to express her sexuality: “It was very difficult for me to perceive myself as an attractive woman with the body we have. Because of the curves, the ass, the waist. .. I denied my femininity. And all that was linked to abuse.”
“I thought I would die with the secret. I thought no one would realize what was happening in my house,” reflects Carme, who broke her silence when she was 24 years old. Mireia, on the other hand, had forgotten this memory: “I didn’t remember it. When, thanks to therapy, I relived the past, I felt that my life was in danger.”
Both are grateful for the psychological support received over the years. Thanks to therapy, they have managed to understand well what had happened to them and, above all, they have been able to move forward: “It was then that I understood three fundamental ideas: it was not my fault, this person was not as good as people thought and, The most important thing is to explain it,” admits Carme.
When abuse takes place during childhood, the mark remains forever. And with adolescence, the suffering experienced is revived in different ways: “I rejected my body.” For Mireia, showing her body and developing herself “was dangerous.”
On the other hand, Carme lived her youth in a different way: “I wanted to attract a lot. I became very sexualized and sought to attract the attention of boys.”
On 8M, going out into the streets and demonstrating collective strength is essential. Now, there are other ways to vindicate the figure of women. Mireia, for example, does it from the dissemination and remembers that “this is not just one day”, but that “we have to defend it every day of the year.”
La Carme, however, lives the day with great anger, because in an 8-M demonstration she was told that “it was not the day to vindicate sexual abuse of children.” That is why she highlights the idea that “abuse is sexist violence” and that, therefore, it must also be included as a claim. He also regrets that on November 19, the International Day for the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse, no one goes out into the streets: “The only day we have to go out and ask for justice is 8-M and it seems that it is not our turn yet,” concludes.
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(This article was originally published on the RAC1 website)
