When we talk about a sentimental clinic, there are not a few baby boomers or members of generation X who think of Elena Francis, with those submission and resignation advice aimed at women. Those were other times, and not better in this case. But there are things that do not change, such as the need to seek an external opinion on love issues, breakups, toxic relationships, sex, loneliness…
The British journalist Dolly Alderton has become a millennial reference in all these topics, so universal and timeless, although today many of them are sifted through the digital world, with their social networks, flirting apps or those that are not always well interpreted. WhatsApp messages.
After the phenomenon that supposed, with more than a million copies sold, the book Everything I know about love , a selection of personal experiences published in The Sunday Times with failed dates and professional failures in the style of Bridget Jones or Carrie Bradshaw , now returns to the publishing world with Dear Dolly ). Alderton has compiled some letters received at her sentimental office, which she publishes as a weekly column in the same British medium.
She appears in Madrid with her long blonde hair and practicing some of the words she remembers from three years of Spanish lessons and summers spent in Spain with her parents. “Sparkling water”, she asks. The bubbly journalist was chosen by Forbes as one of the thirty brightest European women under thirty. Now with her 34, she radiates a self-confidence that has led her to give advice despite her youth.
“I do not consider myself wiser or more experienced than other women my age, but I have made many wrong decisions in my life and that has led me to know which ones can help you lead an easier life,” she says before acknowledging the responsibility of giving advice. “I have received letters from people telling me that they have left a relationship after reading my responses. My words have consequences and I always keep that very much in mind, ”she reveals.
Every week he receives hundreds of inquiries, mostly from heterosexual women, and also complaints, especially when he deals with issues related to ethics in the column. “The Sunday Times is quite conservative and I’m not too puritanical,” she admits.
The topics that generate the most debate revolve around infidelity. “It has happened to me and it is very painful,” she confesses. “All of us at some point in our lives are going to face it, either because we are unfaithful or because our partner is,” she adds. And why are we so unfaithful? “When we start a sexual relationship with another person we feel more alive, and when I bring it up in the office it seems like the worst sin a person can commit. I try not to make judgments and this angers a large part of the more traditional readers.
But if there is one aspect that differentiates today’s sentimental clinics from those of before, it is the introduction of the internet into our daily lives, for the good (many couples meet through apps and social networks) and for the bad. This is the case of what he calls compromisephobia. “A lot is asked of a couple. Commitment has become very difficult considering that we are aware of the range of choices that exist out there, and that leads to a kind of anxiety about choosing and committing. It is important that we remind ourselves that anything sacred in life requires sacrifices.”
Sex is another favorite theme. In this sense, she remembers one of the strangest and funniest inquiries that she has received. “A man in his 60s and decades of marriage complained angrily that his sex life with his wife had declined. He explained that he had created a number system that associated a sexual act with a number and at the end of the year added them up to obtain a grade. And what was the answer? “That the fact of making these sums sure that he did not excite his wife.”
