She worked as a lawyer for two years and got away with it.
Because I realized that the result of my work did not depend on me, but on many other external elements. I went to coordinate my father’s cabinet for ten years.
Felipe Gonzalez.
My father was looking for someone he could trust and I was that; as for me, that job allowed me to have three children in three years, which is not an easy challenge in the working world.
what did he learn
To work autonomously, by objectives. My father has not been a boss and the environment was atypical, I learned to navigate there.
Has it been difficult to be the daughter of the president of Spain for 14 years?
Understanding who I was and what I contributed beyond being the daughter of someone so visible was complicated. The day I graduated, the press published the comparative grades of Aznar’s son and mine. No one remembers, but I do.
I understand.
And it’s hard for a girl to see her photo on the ¡Hola! when you go on an excursion with the school. I was 4 years old when we went to live in Moncloa, my life has been marked by that.
Where did he take it?
I have the feeling that I have evolved in the last ten years, today I understand who I am and fit into my life without the need to become invisible, which has been my favorite strategy for so many years.
Now it’s coach.
I was disoriented, I didn’t know what to do with my life, and I found the process so useful that I decided to train and specialize in non-violent communication.
And what happened in his life?
This model gives you the tools to look inside yourself, understand what your needs are and attend to them.
It is also communicating correctly.
There are two large groups, those who tend to keep things quiet, and the explosive ones. In both cases there is violence and deterioration in the relationship.
We often do not recognize our own violence.
Because we have normalized it and understand it as violence to insult or attack, but we take for granted a lot of things that are violent.
For example?
To keep silent what you want to say is contractual violence and the other, implies a lack of trust; comparing one person to another or judging them is violence.
Tell me about the basic principles.
Attend to the facts, which you must not confuse with your opinion; feelings, which you must not confuse with your evaluations; needs, and know how to ask for what you want.
Give me some practice.
What another person does or says is not the cause of what we feel.
A drunk yells and screams at dawn.
The feeling is that I am pregnant because I want to sleep. To attend to your need you can call the police, close the window or put on covers.
Find some good strategy.
We often need recognition in the work environment. If this need depends only on the fact that my boss congratulates me and I have a boss who is not to be congratulated, my need for recognition will be neglected.
I?
Recognition should not be out there, there is no one like you who knows the intention and effort you put into things; the recognition that comes from outside is a bonus. And the same thing happens with the need for love.
Do I get along and dance alone?
This model enables you to find ways to meet your needs, generate solutions, resources that are within you and that you don’t just consider. Needs that, no matter how specific they are, you must not make them depend on another person. It’s about turning crap into fertilizer, tension into compression.
Very graphic.
You can generate closeness and connection if you know how to let the model go; put yourself at the service of the conversation without your emotions impacting and listen to offer empathy.
Give us some advice so we don’t always go looking for trouble with those we love.
Press the pause button. When there is a situation that upsets you, follow the four steps: ask yourself what the facts were, how you felt, what you needed and what you will do in this case to be okay with yourself. And apply the same to the other.
This relieves you of expectations.
You will have at your disposal ways to take care of yourself without demanding that others take care of you. Do I love you because I love you or do I love you because you love me? Active and empathetic listening is not listening to the word, but to what comes after: the feeling and the need. Words are often the crude expression of what people feel and need.
