Fans of the Danish reality know without a doubt Philip May.

The 30-year-old humørbombe stamped into the ‘Paradise Hotel’ in 2015 and has since established itself as one of the industry’s most distinctive personalities. Always smiling. Always happy. Always ready for a party.

But behind the humørfyldte exterior hides a hard past, as he opens up about in tonight’s ‘dinner at’ where he is the host of the Rachel Ellebye from ‘Year 0’, Micki Cheng from ‘The big bagedyst’ and Kirsten Skaarup from the ‘Farmer looking for love’.

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As a 21-year-old was Philip May broadcast as a soldier in Afghanistan, where he was for seven months fought the Taliban, and the experiences are still in him.

– We will come there, and we’re trying to lose comrades. I lost three comrades down there, he says in the program, where he also tells that he lost two comrades in a mortérulykke before departure, which has left him with a big breakfast buffet is available in the skull.

Five comrades he has lost in total, and four tombstones are tattooed on his body.

– the Problem is that the stress you get down there, the release never really. It goes on, and it comes at times in your life where you least want it. And so you must have the help, he says, and continues:

– There is not a night, not I have nightmares. It’s something I’ve learned to live with, how crazy it sounds. I wake up at night when I have anxiety and is afraid.

Philip May lost five comrades. Four gravestones adorn his body. Photo: Bjorn Jakobsen/Chronically Group

For Extra Magazine tells Philip May, that he a year ago had to admit that he needed help.

– It is not something I have opened up about, and it is only now, that I tackle it right with psychological support. I took hold of myself a year ago and got help, because I constantly had nightmares. At the same time, I could feel that it began to press in other places, and I was losing myself. I took off on veterancentret and got help with the same. There is the Danish defense damn good, he says.

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today he has gotten a better handle on the trauma that has followed him after the time in Afghanistan.

– I feel better and have been a part traumebehandlinger. I no longer have nightmares every night, it comes in waves, but overall it moves forward, and I become happier and happier, so it helps that we walk in, he explains.

Philip May have established himself as one of the most popular realitystjerner. Here is he with his friend Lenny Pihl, as he made the programme ‘Spindoktorerne’ with. Photo: Bjorn Jakobsen/Chronically Group

– Is your recurring nightmare about the things you experienced in the war?

– It is not something I want to go into details, because it is damn not fun. But it is very much what happened at home with mortérulykken, and it is the thing that happened down there. It is not lovely nightmare. It is some of the things I have seen and experienced, he says.

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He chose to expose themselves in the programme and tell his story to three people who he barely knew.

– It was a special experience, for I had only known them one day, and I have barely opened up about it to my closest. If people ask, I answer, and it was great, but I have also been excited to see it on tv, for I am not used to seeing myself most vulnerable. Fortunately, they took good against it and listened, as they should, says Philip May.

Earlier in the year won the Philip May ‘Divas in the Jungle’. Photo: TV3

He had already before the footage made it clear to himself that he would tell his story.

– And I had gone and thought about how and what I had to say, while I made food. I feel that people got a slightly different side of me to see, so it’s not just spasmageren, and so people can also see that there is a reason that I am who I am, for I have experienced much shit, he says.

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Philip May have lost five fellow soldiers, and four of them adorn his body, since he has got their tombstone tattooed. He still has one tombstone, which sooner or later must come. Until now it has been too hard.

– I’m missing one of them, as I haven’t done quite done. I have not had it done yet, because it is something I need to put me up. It is not as easy as it sounds, he says.

Although the war has left him with many scars on the soul, so that he does not regret that he as a 21-year-old went off.

– I do not, for it gave me many other good things, and just I felt, I tried to make a difference, means a lot to me, the ending he of the.

‘For dinner at’ can be seen Monday to Thursday at 19 on TV3.