Raphinha thought of arriving at training with a new hairstyle. “Look, Raphinha, don’t touch my neck. Get your braids on today. We are not for nonsense, we play a lot”. The state of nerves of the Cuban fans before the match against PSG is what Kim Jong-un’s hairdresser is experiencing. @MarcTresens makes the demand for the braids, and it is justified: in the first leg, with this line, the Blaugrana scored two goals, when they had not scored any in the entire Champions League.
Between the fan who confesses that he is on the street shouting at all those who ride scooters as if they were PSG players and the one who warns that he is already at the Olympic Stadium ready in case he has to mow down Mbappé if he escapes alone, each he gets over his nerves as best he can. @jaume_diadoc recognizes himself as a Hellenist and teacher and makes his knowledge available to the crowd:
-If I’ve learned anything from reading Julius Caesar, it’s how to defeat the Gauls; below, a map of the battle of Alesia, in case it is of use to us today – he says.
– I would give strategic value to the wild boars of Collserola to distract them – they add.
But things are not going well. Expulsion of Araújo. “Now is the time to go for a walk”, says @calreflex as a canonical culer. Barça’s official account had announced 50,309 people in the stands. Now there are 50,310, a Cristiano Ronaldo fan corrects.
Raphinha complies. He wears the required hairstyle and scores. The team, no. The team combs it. Trying to clarify whether the disaster is due to the referee or to collective suicide is a script that would exploit a second part of Anatomy of a Fall, an ambiguous film that, on top of being French, has a dog that says Messi as one of the protagonists.
There is a diagnosis of disaster. The culer is epidermal, green and ripe, in the field and in the nets. “The first stage of grief is denial; the second, sell Frenkie de Jong”, says @copdullracional.
They exaggerate and remind him that De Jong earns like De Bruyne, one of City’s stars and precisely a player who has gone viral in Argentina thanks to Colombian Edwuin Cetré. Cetré plays for Estudiantes de la Plata and scored a goal very similar to another from the Belgian. “You are the Kevin de Bruyne of La Plata, of Argentine football,” a journalist tells him. “Me quemé… Es muy blanco para ser [me] Kevin de Bruyne”, he replies. Cetré is black. They remind him of the nickname soon after. He insists that he is not Kevin de Bruyne, but “Kevin de Brownie”, laughs the Colombian.
Good humor is a duty we owe to others, said the poet Wallace Stevens. And football is just football, and therefore an ideal place to cultivate it.
