Can I dislike my own son? Although the question may cause some discomfort, psychologists say that this thought is more common than is believed, especially in some stages of our children’s lives, where upbringing or education can be arduous or not very bearable.
To avoid normalizing this emotion, which can lead us to distance ourselves from our children, it is essential to understand its causes and act in time to reverse the situation. This is stated by the child psychologist Sara Tarrés, specialized in upbringing and family, who explains that if the feeling of rejection is prolonged over time it can
lead to the deterioration of coexistence and the rupture of the bond with our son.
Knowing the reasons that can cause a lack of affinity or rejection towards our children is key. These are very varied, but the main ones are usually linked to two especially complicated periods in the relationship with children, such as parenting in the early years and adolescence.
Before the birth of the first child, the expectations of many parents regarding how the upbringing and education of their offspring will take place often differ greatly from reality. This gap, together with the high demand of the little ones and the fatigue caused by their care, can cause frustration and generate in parents the feeling that they do not like their children.
Another reason that can lead to this thought is the so-called mirror, which occurs when parents see negative behaviors or aspects that they do not like about themselves reflected in their children.
As children grow, and especially during adolescence, there are other reasons that can contribute to this feeling according to psychologists. This type of behavior can make parents feel overwhelmed and fall into a feeling of rejection and disconnection from their children:
When the feeling of rejection has nothing to do with the behavior of the children, but is more linked to the demands of parenting, it is common for it to be temporary. If it lasts over time, it is advisable to consult a specialist who can offer us guidelines to manage these emotions.
When negative thoughts are linked to children’s behaviors and especially conflictive periods, such as adolescence, it is the parents who have to take charge of the situation and apply measures to cope with or remedy the problem.
