We start this newsletter with an illustration by our fellow designer Anna Belil, who often provides ingenious graphic solutions to the sometimes very conceptual topics we publish on Vivo. It is his own interpretation of Dirac’s formula, so perfect that it has crossed the limits of quantum physics to symbolize love. The Dirac equation describes the behavior of fermions, which continue to interact once separated and with non-coincident trajectories. Is love subject to laws similar to those of physics? Is it true that, as science says, breakups are more frequent at four years old?
There are as many types of love as there are relationships. Some sentimental attachments are so obsessive that they generate dependency even on dating apps. Others are basic ingredients in the explosive cocktail of toxicities in the couple, such as love bombing, breadcrumbing or the more sibylline tactic of emotional blackmail. Sometimes it depends on expectations and sometimes even infidelities are overcome. But there is also room for lasting and fulfilling relationships, as the Gottman couple affirms, even if we must give up the idea that soul mates exist.
? Simmering relationships. I was moved years ago by reading Slow Man, by Nobel Prize winner J.M. Coetzee, in which he delved into love and humanity through slowness as a symptom of old age. In a world of speed and immediacy, slow is frowned upon, although it is increasingly claimed as an alternative lifestyle. ‘Slow dating’ goes along those lines. Young people are beginning to deny the ‘I’ll catch you here, I’ll kill you here’ that dating apps favor and prioritize quality over quantity.
? The laboratory of passion. John and Julie Gottman are two American clinical psychologists who have been studying romantic relationships for 50 years. They are researchers and they are also married and together they run the Gottman Love Lab. We have interviewed them and they confirm that yes, it is possible to fall in love for a lifetime, although they warn that soul mates do not exist. They have just published the book The Secret of 8 Dates.
? The ‘tradwife’ phenomenon. We have known for years that the extreme right is taking advantage of network algorithms such as TikTok to spread their messages. Abril Phillips’ magnificent report on traditional wives who presume to stay at home and serve their husband, in addition to taking care of their offspring exclusively, shows one of the consequences of this ultra-conservative wave. Many influencers also cultivate the role of self-sacrificing and long-suffering mothers, as Eva Millet denounces.
? The wounded inner child. Making peace with what we were in childhood means paving the way to a more conscious life. Psychologist Maria Rufino explains it in this revealing article in which she talks about the subtle interaction between past and present and how it influences our behavior and emotional well-being.
? Parents without retirement. Biologically and culturally we are parents from the moment our children are born. But does that mean that we should take the chestnuts out of the fire and worry about other, not so serious problems? It takes us longer and longer to have children and that has created the figure of senior fathers and mothers. Rosanna Carceller perfectly illustrates for Longevity this debate about whether there is an age to stop suffering more than necessary from one’s offspring.
? The novel of life. Neither where we are from nor where we are going. For journalist Beatriz Serrano, winner of an Ondas award for her podcast Arsenic Caviar, the big question is whether life consists of packing the container, working, going to the supermarket and watching a Netflix series. That’s how she puts it in this interview conducted on the occasion of her first fictional story, The Discontent.
? Bathrooms to reconnect. A little over a year ago, walking along the Llobregat greenway that begins in the old textile colony of Cal Rosal, one of my daughters saw a river beach and did not hesitate for a second to jump in. It wasn’t summer yet and the water was freezing, but I understood then that I enjoyed something more than a swim, something more than an adolescent impulse: it was a kind of connection with nature, rare in our urban lives. This week I received an original travel guide, Swimming Outdoors, which recommends 60 places in the world to experience that feeling.
? The right to be only mothers. From Mother’s Day celebrated last May 5, I am left with a video from LADD (L’Associació en Defensa dels Drets de les persons amb Discapacitat intel·lectual) in which several members of this non-profit organization take turns to expose all those tasks, procedures and complaints that they are forced to carry out so that their children are well cared for. Mothers still continue to take care of everything that the administrations should guarantee and that represents a demanding overload and constant anger due to the violation of their basic rights.
? Therapeutic theater. Patricia Ramírez was a pioneering psychologist in the world of football. She is now a popularizer and has been starring in Anxiety Doesn’t Kill, But It Fatigues for more than three years, a play that aims to make the audience leave a little happier than when they entered. More than 40,000 people have seen it throughout Spain. Leyre Flamarique, journalist and psychologist who collaborates with Vivo, spoke with Ramírez about this experience. We will read it in the next few days on the channel.
