Setting limits is essential to ensure our individual well-being and maintain the health of any type of relationship. These lines, although invisible, demarcate the standards of tolerable behavior and, therefore, when you have been disrespected or taken advantage of. That is why it is essential that the people you interact with know clearly what your limits are. Outraging your confidences, condescending attitudes or aggressive behavior are some common examples of limits that no one should exceed.
The violation of certain limits can make us feel used or mistreated by those around us. Difficulty expressing your own emotions, the fear of being judged or the feeling of guilt for prioritizing your needs over those of others are some of the symptoms that could indicate that your limits are not being effective, according to psychotherapist Moshe Ratson in an article for Psychology Today. This may also mean that you have a hard time saying no and you should improve your assertiveness.
Censoring your emotions is not the solution when someone exceeds your limits. It is common to feel stressed, uncomfortable and deeply mentally exhausted, but it is in these moments that you must rethink what is happening to you, what should be protected and what should be restored. Answering these questions will allow you to reconfigure your boundaries and strengthen your sense of identity to prevent this situation from happening again.
Taking the opposite path, that is, repressing or denying negative feelings will not allow you to move forward and you will likely be manipulated or taken advantage of again. In short, assuming that your limits have been violated offers you the possibility of improving your self-protection mechanisms.
Assertiveness is the ability to express and defend your feelings, without hurting those of others, hence the importance of putting it into practice when establishing limits. To take care of your needs, it is necessary to learn to communicate them in a healthy way. Being assertive can be useful when resolving a conflict with another person, since it is a way to express your desires elegantly and maintain a certain flexibility about your expectations. If you want to be an assertive person, it is necessary:
In short, learning to communicate assertively is essential to establishing healthy limits according to our needs, without losing respect and compassion for others. This ability contributes to our personal and social development, as it allows us to safeguard our identity and privacy, as well as establish bonds of affection, support and mutual trust.
