When talking about breakups, the focus tends to be on the members of the couple, since, obviously, they are the main ones affected by the separation. However, people in their immediate environment also end up getting involved in this complicated situation. In these cases, the first impulse of friends and family is to represent support in these difficult moments, that is, to be helpful and provide comfort. But we don’t always know very well how to act appropriately when a couple separates. In fact, sometimes, certain mistakes are even made that should be avoided.
When a relationship breaks up it brings with it a stage known as grief. “Separation is a very important loss that can destabilize,” warns psychologist Marta de la Fuente. Stages marked by shock, disbelief, anger and sadness usually come next, she adds. So the role of friends and close people can become key to overcoming it.
Sometimes, the close circle of a broken couple feels the pressure of wanting to comfort them, even without knowing how. And this only leads to making mistakes. You don’t have to have the perfect solution or words to make that person feel better. In fact, sometimes you just have to respect what someone who is grieving needs, because there will be those who prefer not to get help or company from others. “When we don’t want to, or can’t, or don’t know what to say, it’s better not to say anything. And silence, although painful, is sometimes the most intelligent thing,” says the psychologist.
On the other hand, if the opposite is the case and that person does prefer to have the support and presence of their close circle, specialist Marta de la Fuente shares a series of tips about what to do.
