Noemí Navarro is used to speaking and conversing on social networks, but she confesses that this is one of her first interviews with the press. She appears without makeup, far from that stylish image of a beauty and fashion ‘influencer’ who recommends cosmetic products and clothing on Instagram (265,000 followers) and Tik Tok (120,000). She hides her nervousness by repeatedly touching the earring on her left ear and shows her determined character. She is a fighter who has worked her way up with her ideas, such as when she rebelled enough to break with her family’s religious creed, the Jehovah’s Witnesses, despite feeling that she was not quite comfortable in their circles. of friendship or work. After founding MadreTEA @, at the age of 35 she has recounted her experience of living with autism with the book ‘The art of not fitting in’ (Grijalbo). First her son was diagnosed with the disorder, and then her. “Since autism entered the house, I understood many things,” she says.
Why the title ‘The art of not fitting in’?
We are all made to have a sense of belonging to a group and not fitting in and coming out unscathed is an art. This is a phrase that I saw once and I put it in my Instagram bio, because it makes you understand that you should not turn off what is different about you, but rather vindicate it.
Is it a phrase more dedicated to you or your son?
It has a much broader meaning, it really goes for all those people who feel like they don’t fit in. It goes far beyond autism, it works for everything.
For example, the religious theme. The other day you posted several videos on Tik Tok talking about your resignation from Jehovah’s Witnesses, how hard it has been and the consequences of having to break up with your family and friends. Is there something like that too?
It is a coincidence. It really is a topic that I had never talked about and suddenly it comes up because my sister [sorayaisnarez, also a content creator on TikTok] makes it public. She is more active on this topic. Obviously we are sisters and we both dedicate ourselves to the networks and the subject has affected me, but it is true that since I was little I knew that I was not going to fit in anymore because I did not fit in there either, that is, it was a bit complex.
It’s hard to let go of the past
They are different issues, really. I had a childhood in which I presented features of autism but obviously three decades ago there was no way to diagnose it and then there is the great handicap of the gender bias in autism since in women it always presents in a different way and when it comes to making a diagnosis is much more complex. In fact, the ratio of diagnoses is five boys to one girl, and that means that the tool is not well designed to detect girls.
Did you ever suspect that you might be autistic before being diagnosed as an adult?
No, I’ve always known that I wasn’t one for being in a group, that I’ve been very independent, always very straight-forward, and I thought it was my personality. But no, until autism came home with my son Mateo, I hadn’t even considered it.
And once you get home, does that change your life?
Well, look, I find out a bit of carambola because when I tell my son’s diagnosis on the networks I get very involved in the subject. And two years ago, on April 2, which is Autism Day, I put together a series of Instagram broadcasts, spent eight hours talking about autism, and interviewing a lot of different people, including a woman diagnosed with autism at 41 years. And that woman had many similarities with me, so I decided to get tested at the same place that she had done. They gave me eleven different tests, they interviewed my mother to talk about when she was little, among many other tests, and in the end they told me that I was within what they call level 1 of the autism spectrum, without intellectual disability. And I asked the psychologist, what now? And she told me that I had already developed the necessary tools to survive and there was no protocol to follow with me.
Did the diagnosis fit you?
Well, after being diagnosed, I found answers to things that had happened to me all my life and that I did not understand, my need to anticipate things, which made me very nervous in new situations… I thought it was insecurity. In short, of course, the big difference with my son is that he does have a great affectation at a verbal and comprehension level, you can say. But I am learning day by day. This week is being very complicated, I’m telling you.
Yes, why?
Well, this giving interviews to the press is new to me, and of course, I needed to anticipate it. And then the presentation of the book, prepare it and face it. I get very nervous because I can’t control it.
But I have seen many interviews that other ‘influencers’ have done with you and in fact the book is presented as a great interview.
Sure, but the interview in the book is done with a person who has been my photographer and has produced videos for me since I’ve been working on the networks, that is, with a person very close to me, and I’m already very used to talking about this, even if they later criticize me because I give visibility to the brands. Also, in this interview I am at home, which is a safe environment for me.
Since you were diagnosed with ASD, do you understand your child more?
Yes, now I understand the great difficulty that he has, in addition to his age, only six years. It’s hard for him to express what he feels or say what makes him nervous, right? So, of course, I am able to express it, but he is not. I have to admit that motherhood has made me realize that I have more patience than I thought.
Wait until adolescence.
I fear it, I don’t want to anticipate it but I am fearing it, but well, I understand many more things about him because I am able to put words to what he is feeling.
Autism can be hereditary but not in all cases.
I knew something of that possibility and that prompted me a bit to get tested. He wanted to know where he came from because his father is super intelligent and has never exhibited traits of autism. And when they diagnosed me I saw that it made a lot of sense. We have never really understood my father, who is not a person who is diagnosed at home, he is a person who never really shows his feelings, very obsessive with noises, who gets very nervous with textures, very rigid. I am absolutely convinced that he comes from there, although my father has no diagnosis and he will never ask for it because he is a Jehovah’s Witness and well, he hasn’t spoken to us for five years. I have no proof but I also do not doubt that he passes it on to me and I to my son.
Five years without your father speaking to you. Is what you said in the video that when you are expelled from the Jehovah’s Witnesses your family withdraws your word is it true?
Yes that’s how it is. It’s very complicated. But my sister is the one who has viralized this topic and she is very committed. You can talk to her if you want about this topic.
Since you have a presence on the networks, have many people told you something similar to your situation?
There are many cases like mine. Also celebrities, singers, soccer players, well-known people who suddenly start following me and it’s because they have children with the autism spectrum. It is much more widespread than people think.
You who are an influencer and give advice…
Well, rather I tell my life…
… And you also advise. When a person feels like he doesn’t fit in, what do you think he should do?
I think we are very lucky that social networks are promoting the individuality and differentiation of each one, the networks are helping us to be able to say that we are different. That’s why I would say to people who want to fit in that this is super painful, super harmful. One is empowered and is satisfied being as it is. I would always encourage the opposite. If you don’t fit in, vindicate yourself. Being different is super nice.
Social networks are also factories of frustrations…
I have been criticized for posturing and for showing reality. For both things. So people can say what they want.
How did you get to the networks? You had studied business…
I worked in the world of finance until when I got pregnant I realized that I didn’t know anything about it and I felt very insecure. So I started to follow girls who were pregnant and told their stories and I felt very supported, so when my son was born I realized that I could also provide a vision of motherhood and I began to share my way of raising and that was growing. One day I thought I had to reinvent myself and I started talking about lifestyle, beauty and other issues and that’s when very big brands started counting on me and I work with them, especially beauty issues.
From your experience, do you think that the school is inclusive of children with ASD?
Well, look, it depends on the community you are in, you have some greater resources than others. Luckily there are many solutions now, although there are always things to improve. With Mateo, for example, the school works well during the school year but for Mateo there are no summer camps or they ask me to pay four times what I pay for my other daughter. But I really feel that there is a generational change. I always say it, and I get emotional saying it, that it is fortunate that Mateo was born at this moment in time in which it is understood that he is different and that he is respected. I think we’re on the way, huh?
