Although from the outside it may seem easy to distinguish or even obvious, it is not always so easily identified when one suffers from it. Emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation by which one person forces another person to do something or act in a specific way, all to obtain a benefit. This can be achieved through threats, reproaches, coercion or forms of intimidation with which the emotional blackmailer manages to subdue someone’s will.
When it comes to acting, these individuals can carry out several different types of emotional blackmail with which to achieve their goal. A very common one has to do with limiting the decision-making capacity of the manipulated person, advising him to avoid the negative consequences that his behavior would bring. Always “for your own good,” as manipulators often say, explains psychologist Rosario Linares. Other strategies include making the victim feel guilty or confusing and criticizing them.
It must be taken into account that emotional blackmailers do not always act in the same way and that they may have different objectives. However, all of them have a series of points in common that facilitates the task of identifying them, as indicated by the specialist.
People who suffer from emotional blackmail can have their mental health considerably affected, so this situation should not be allowed and must be stopped as soon as possible, warns Rosario Linares. The first step, she points out, is to recognize that one is being a victim of manipulation. In that case you have to avoid blaming yourself and focus on the emotional blackmailer.
To do this, the psychologist provides three tools with which to set limits. One of them is to use time to their advantage, since the demands of these individuals are usually immediate. Instead of satisfying them, they will be distanced: “I’ll think about it.” Another has to do with highlighting the consequences of the request and explaining why you will not give in to it if you do not want to. And that is exactly the third: learning to say no assertively.
