The lack of collaboration in household chores, the interference of family members in married life or their hobbies that you can’t stand. Any of these topics can star in the much feared conversation with your partner that you have pending that, however, you cannot postpone. There are a multitude of sensitive issues that sooner or later you will have to talk about, but how can you do it so as not to hurt their feelings?
Good communication is one of the banners of a healthy relationship. To deal with those issues that bother you about your partner and prevent a conversation from being the trigger for a conflict, you must leave impulsiveness behind. Outbursts are almost as damaging as omissions, and honesty is compatible with empathy. Listening and being heard is a fundamental pillar of the affectionate relationship, as it will help you solve problems and love each other better, although it is a skill that requires training.
Effort and patience are key to learning to communicate with your partner. A very simple maxim will help you when implementing your new strategy: think before you speak. People tend to tackle discomfort quickly, but impulses based on anger or rage are not good allies when solving a couple problem. You must reserve a space of time to vent, regulate your emotions and see the situation from a rational perspective.
Once you have a cool head, you can rehearse what you want to communicate to your partner. How we say things will make the difference between a hurtful message and an affective one. A request is preferable to a demand, since this way you will give the other the opportunity to express themselves and find a solution to the problem. It also tries to avoid accusations and formulate those requests in a positive way; For example, it is better to say “I would like to spend more quality time together, why do we always stay home on Saturdays?†that “you never want to do anything on the weekends, you are so boringâ€.
As much or more than words, nonverbal communication is another factor that you must practice in the face of that conversation. The best thing to avoid rudeness is to find the right time to speak. This will be when you are both relaxed, so that sadness or anger are not a condition. When the time comes, your gestures must accompany your words: moderate expressions that may denote annoyance or disgust, so the message you want to convey will better permeate.
With probability, you will face an uncomfortable situation, in which you will surely have to set certain limits. Always try to do it from the assertiveness and empathy, since a passive-aggressive response will end up diluting the need that you want to raise with your partner. If you do not manage to reach agreements in this way, do not rule out the possibility of consulting a specialist in couples therapy, who will help you eradicate violent attitudes and implement effective communication tools.
