Modern times, of fast-consuming liquid love, little commitment, sporadic relationships and little emotional responsibility. Times of flirting on dating apps, dating, having sex and… maybe nothing else. Personal relationships change rapidly, and with these changes language is forced to define new behaviors.
That is why new concepts of toxic ways of behaving in sexual-affective relationships have appeared. Some examples are ghosting, when someone suddenly disappears and does not answer messages or calls; gaslighting, or gas light, an emotional manipulation to modify another person’s perception of reality, so that they do not see what is happening; or breadcrumbing, when a person leaves breadcrumbs in the form of small signs of attention or affection, without there being a real commitment or the intention of consolidating the relationship, and avoiding talking about it. These are behaviors that denote little empathy and little emotional care.
Cricketing is a new term that has caught on. What does it consist of exactly? Derived from the sound of crickets (cri, cri, cri), cricketing is when someone leaves a message unread for days, weeks, or months, and then, unlike ghosting, responds.
That is to say, although in ghosting the person disappears permanently, with cricketing they respond to the messages, but with a delay, so that the other is aware of their reactions, if they arrive or not, or if there will finally be an appointment. .
Social networks and dating platforms have transformed the world of relationships, making invisibility possible, when interest in the other person is lost. A way of doing that, as already being warned, is toxic and can do a lot of damage. “You can maintain a very deep emotional relationship and break it without any explanation… There is no consequence. This is terrible and makes us tyrants of our subjectivity. A phrase from the Marquis de Sade: ‘I seek my satisfaction and for this reason I will go over anyone’. Now this is the maxim that guides everyone, to use others as a means,” says Francesc Núñez, sociologist and researcher in emotions at the UOC.
Hiding behind the screen is still cowardly and immature behavior. The opposite of affective responsibility, a concept that has been successful in recent years to describe a way of relating to others (especially in a sexual-affective relationship) based on empathy, honest communication and consensus, as explained in RAC1 .cat.
This article was originally published on RAC1.
