There are many influencers and celebrities who share photos and videos of their sons and daughters dancing with provocative poses and postures, dressed and made up as adults. A few days ago, the actress Luciana Salazar published a photo of her daughter Matilda on her Instagram account with a text that said: “She always sticks to her boyfriend Tomy.” This type of attitude, which fosters and encourages a type of relationship typical of adults, is not healthy, since it confuses the little ones and, in some way, encourages them to “burn stages”.

Julia Santecchia, a psychologist and sexologist, and Cecilia Borghetti, a psychologist specializing in sexology and sexual education, give their opinion on these behaviors and on the hypersexualization of children.

“Leggings, two-piece leggings with padding (sexualizing girls’ chests from an early age), military boots, flip flops with heels, skinny jeans, makeup, dyed hair, with keratin… We are exposed to a market that insists on offering children things that have nothing to do with this stage”, the authors of Yo pregunto explain to Clarín. Sex education from the earliest years (Chirimbote).

This is what hypersexualization in childhood is all about, “when the sexual aspect of a boy or girl is highlighted or underlined, assigning adult aspects or roles to them.”

Another example they mention is reggaeton, a musical style present “at children’s birthdays, at dance festivals, at school events. What are we teaching them? In general, the lyrics of the songs of this genre take women as a sexual object, so the lyrics are not suitable for childhoods and the accompanying dance is not suitable (provocative movements)”.

“Children receive sexual stimuli, ways of being fashionable at the moment, music trends… These stimuli -which appear on television, in the networks, among other channels- show that ideal of hegemonic beauty to be achieved: extreme thinness, muscular and shaved bodies, strong, healthy and always well-groomed hair”, point out the sexual health specialists.

“Given so much imposition of these unique models, what happens to us when we are left out of these standardized models? How does it affect the little ones? Thus, Santecchia and Borghetti point out that “the most dangerous thing will be that they begin to abandon the games appropriate to their age (let us think how it can be that today it surprises us that an 11/12-year-old girl plays with dolls), making them skip stages”.

How to react to this type of situation or comment? “It is important to learn to put a limit to other adults; It is also comprehensive sexual education that our sons and daughters see us explaining and teaching why not hypersexualize childhood”.

“If someone asks my child ‘do you have a boyfriend?, they probably won’t know what to say, unless they have worked or talked at home. But if it is not the case, we will set a clear limit, explaining that he does not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, because he is still small; and yes, he has friends”.

In the event that it is difficult for us to talk about it with the adult, the specialists suggest asking the boy or girl present indirectly: “isn’t it true that you don’t have a girlfriend or because you’re little? Those are big things.”

The game of being boyfriends or girlfriends or kissing each other on the mouth – psychologists say – is something that can happen and is something to be expected in the development of the child. “Infants reproduce and imitate behaviors that they observe and then actively live them, this is how they explore and learn about the world.” And they add: “Sexuality in childhood is characterized by curiosity, by exploration.”

“They are imitating us, they copy what ‘the greats’ do, but without the sexual component that it has for adults, understanding that what they do is a symbolic game. It is important to be able to make the difference between having friends and ‘being boyfriends’, that is, that adults choose to start a relationship and kiss each other on the mouth, but it is not something that the little ones do,” they point out.

In this sense, “we always emphasize the importance of teaching them the correct names of the parts of their body, naming the private parts, being able to explain to them that the mouth is also an intimate part.”

“If, on the contrary, we just say ‘you can’t play that’ without explaining anything else to them, they may be left with that empty challenge and they may not have the confidence to ask us any questions they may have.”

It is important that adults do not encourage these games that are inappropriate for children, asking them if they like someone, if they already have a boyfriend, or how many, “replicating certain heteronormative models”.

And finally, Cecilia Borghetti and Julia Santecchia insist on being careful with the things they have access to (for example, on the networks) and that the content they see is appropriate for their age, as well as taking care of our own privacy, not exposing them to an adult sexuality, nor speaking in front of them as if they did not understand anything, or buying them clothes and accessories that are not appropriate to their age.