Marc Giró goes down to the street punctually, at four in the afternoon. He is grateful, because just an hour and a half ago he was still live in the RAC1 studio. And because today he ate about 25 butter cookies that he says were normal, of course. His punctuality and disposition are also appreciated because lately he does not stop: in addition to Vostè primer on that station, he livens up the afternoon-night hours of RTVE Play and La 2 with Late Xou, for which he received an Ondas, and on TV3 we can see him in Està passant.

Despite the hustle and bustle, he appears calm and smiling and gives me two energetic, impeccably sober kisses, the kind where cheekbones collide, instead of joining lips to cheeks. This is how this greeting should be carried out, according to protocol experts.

Romina: You look very relaxed. Aren’t you stressed with everything you do?

Marc: No, not at all. Do you?

A: Me a little: work, the girl… And the dogs, where are they?

M: I’ll take them down later, if you like, so we can do the interview more calmly.

A: Sounds good to me.

We sat on a terrace.

A still cold wind is blowing on this spring afternoon and Marc takes a brightly colored silk scarf from his jacket pocket and places it around his neck.

A: Nice scarf.

M: It’s just that with this weather, you never know…

We ordered two waters. Marc wants to pay the bill.

Waiter: It’s €7, handsome.

Marc takes out his credit card and invites me.

Romina: Tell me about them, about the dogs.

Marc: Their names are Leo and Terry and they are two schnauzers. They must be about 450 years old each (laughs). Are they about 10 years old? I just don’t remember, I’m terrible at this. They are very well preserved.

A: Don’t know what ages your dogs are?

M: There is a story… I inherited them from my aunt Mimí, who was very old and died. She left them to me in a nominative way, to me and only me. She was married to a man from Geneva (Switzerland), where, by regulation, animals must have special treatment, such as maintaining daily social contact with specimens of their species. That is why, in Switzerland, people keep animals in pairs, never alone. So, suddenly, I found myself with two dogs in my life. I mean, I didn’t want dogs. Because to have dogs, you either have to be very rich, or be poor and have an occupation that has to do with animals, such as a farmer, a veterinarian, or a trainer. The middle class does not have a life to take care of dogs. But what was I going to do if the dogs came to me by inheritance? In addition, I also tell you that they came with a trust, with expenses paid for life.

A: Really?

M: Yes, yes. And it must be said that I am managing them very well. I’m going to sit here because the sun is shining in my face (changing chairs). It bothers you?

A: No, calm down. I’m fine.

M: To the waiter: Can you open the umbrella for me, please?

Waiter: I’ll open whatever you want for you (laughs).

M: Well, together with my husband we look at books by César, the trainer, to be prepared. Although my aunt’s children were polite because they were already adults. They arrived a little depressed by the change, but they immediately took over absolutely everything in the house. My husband and I do not know how to command, we are not tamers and they do with us what they want. And then I also have another theory and that is that dogs are people.

A: Reincarnated?

M: No, they are simply people and they do what they want, each with their own character, just like people.

A: And what characters do Terry and Leo have?

M: Terry is very proactive, because he sees a dog and starts barking at it. My cousin from Geneva confirmed it to me; It wasn’t a matter of change. So I called a person who was dedicated to this to help us. She was a very hippie lady who would lie on the floor and talk to Terry in a flute voice and the dog didn’t pay any attention to her; He was of no use. Then I contacted a royal guard who trained dogs in his free time. Did you not know that the Royal House has three types of dogs that work there? Those who detect drugs, those who find money and those for defense. In city councils, this is all done by the same dog, but where there is a budget they have specialized dogs for each thing. And in the Royal House it is seen that there is a budget. But after spending time and money with this man, he himself told me: “This dog is a character. I better recommend that you change the sidewalk when you encounter another dog on the street.” And you see, it didn’t cost me anything to change the sidewalk because I changed a long time ago (laughs).

A: Is Leo calmer than Terry?

M: I don’t believe or practice reincarnation, but one day I looked Leo in the face and I saw it clearly. I told her: “You are our Aunt Eugenia.” And I told my father: “Look at her face and tell me she’s not Aunt Eugenia.” And my father answered me: “Well, look, yes it is.” He has the same passion as the lady, may he rest in peace.

R: Did you give them the names?

M: No, they already arrived with their names. And dogs, ships and horses cannot have their names changed because it is bad luck. Above all, to the boats.

A: And how is life with Terry and Aunt Eugenia?

M: Well look, even though I am against having a dog, because it is a mess and I don’t recommend it, now they are my family. Although if you have dogs, you spend all the time taking them out. Imagine when I had to go to Madrid for work every now and then, Ave up, Ave down. With Terry we have taken some trips…

A: Well, and now that you don’t stop professionally, you shouldn’t give up.

M: I spend my life watching TV, radio and walking the dogs.

A: You are the presenter of the moment.

M: From the moment and ad infinitum, because I never plan to stop being one. My goal is to continue doing what I do, always staying focused.

A: Also, I see you very well, with that aristocratic bearing that you have always been told you have, even if you deny it.

M: What I have is good bones, a structure that makes sense, which is why you see me as aristocratic.

A: Do they sleep in bed with you, Terry and Leo?

M: Of course we do, between our legs. The person who tells you that her dog doesn’t sleep in bed with her is lying to you. Another thing is that you live in the country because you are a shepherd, but in the city, the dog sleeps attached to you, lady who is reading this. Dogs are pampered and forgive everything.

A: You have them a little spoiled.

M: Of course. I don’t understand people who don’t consent to dogs or children, who yell at them. The thing is, how can you not pamper a dog or a child? If you are not pampered as a child, then when you grow up, traumas come.

A: What do you give them to eat?

M: We give them raw meat or hamburgers and that’s why they shit perfectly, very hard. The poop from eating I think has nothing to do with it, it’s soft. You can make earrings with my dogs’ poop, they are so hard. And they also don’t smell.

A: How wonderful.

M: Let’s see, how are they people, well there are days when they can feel bad, like you and me, and make their poop less compact. But that’s okay, you don’t have to run to the vet at the first opportunity because the dog is loose or has vomited. About going to the vet… The dog has to be in a hurry to take it, because you end up with a 1000 euro bill and for nothing. Until there are six inches of vomit and you have to leave home by boat and until the twenty-fifth day of loose poop, don’t go to the vet. I already paid for that cost at the beginning of having the dogs, due to my inexperience. They told me about Terry that he had a small heart and that he would end up dying and look, years have passed and he is still doing great.

R: Before Terry and Leo, had you never had dogs at home?

M: My mother had a greyhound, which she said was Scottish, because it was all shaggy. She found it on the street and kept it. At home we are four sisters and we all have a trauma because the dog ate better than us. We are miraculously alive.

A: What are you telling me? (laughs).

M: It’s true. His name was Lope de Vega, the dog. If you yelled “Lope!” at him, he didn’t even pay attention. “Lope!”, and no matter. He only answered if you called him by his full name, “Lope de Vega!” He took up the entire couch, because he was a huge dog, and then we had to sit on the floor. He trotted like a pony, ate our snack, ate everything. My sisters and I are miraculously alive.

A: Another reincarnation, perhaps. That of the playwright.

M: The reincarnation thing is something that I believe depending on the day. If it suits me, I think, and if not, then no. As a consumer that I am, I customize those beliefs to my liking.

R: Beliefs in God, the Virgin, etc., too?

M: I don’t have much time to think about divinities, I’m more of an Ava Gardner person.

A: And the Preysler.

M: Of course.

A: Also tell me about the horse.

M: Oh, yes. I look like a farmer. I have a horse, but it’s already retired.

A: Removed?

M: When I was little I didn’t like sports; I think I was born without that neural connection for sport, neither to practice it nor to watch it. And at home they insisted that I had to do some sport because it was good for my health. When I was little, my parents told us that we were poor so that we wouldn’t ask for expensive things, and then I thought that by proposing a sport for rich people they would leave me alone. I told them that I wanted to do horseback riding and to my surprise, they replied, “well, take a horse.”

A: Did they buy you a horse?

M: I learned to ride horses and then I quit, because you know that ladies ride horses and then leave horses for men, but when they discover that boyfriends are a pain, they go back to horses. I was 35 years old when I left men for good and said: “Now what am I going to do without a horse?” Then my mother, who had given laser hair removal to one of my sisters and she is a very biblical lady, because she read in the Old Testament that you have to be fair, told me that she was giving it to me. And she bought me a horse for the same price as laser hair removal.

A: And what about the horse?

M: Well, that one already died and I was extremely upset. Then my husband bought me another one. Look, in the end I’m going to look like a cocotte, a courtesan who lives on gifts (laughs).

Now this other horse is very old, 28 years old and retired. I go to see him and comb his hair and I feel like riding Barbie.

A: You don’t ride it anymore, then?

M: It’s been a while. The horse, what he has in his head is the desire for freedom. Horses don’t like it when someone gets on them.

A: What is it called?

M: Well, his name is John de Fraigneau.

A: The horse? (laughs).

M: It came with that name.

A: And beyond John de Fraigneau, Terry and Leo, do you plan to expand the family with another dog?

M: I have no idea. Sometimes, I think we could have another dog, but it would be a bit of animal Diogenes syndrome, that is, Noah’s syndrome. And having a dog is fine until it dies. When I take them to the salon, which is very occasionally, because it seems like Chinese torture for them and they don’t want to go, I come home and feel a total emptiness. Imagine the emptiness when they die. Now you’ll see what hair they have, I love them like this. Do you want me to go look for them?

A: Of course.

A few minutes later, Giró emerges from behind the corner with Terry and Leo.

A: Hi Terry! Leo!

M: Terry is the white one and Leo is the gray one.

A: They look alike. They are brothers?

M: I don’t know, they might be cousins. As you see, Terry is more nervous and weaker and Leo is calmer. Leo smells all the piss that makes him look like an anthropologist or a scientific police officer. Look what Aunt Eugenia’s face she has. So handsome! And Terry is very attached to us. If I leave now or something happens to me and they are left alone with you, Terry would have a worse time and wouldn’t come forward, but Leo would say “I’m going to suck it up”, he would have more resources.

By the way, my husband just told me that they are about eight years old, which wasn’t that long ago since Aunt Mimí’s.

R: How has having a dog surprised you?

M: Well, you can’t consider it as a satisfaction. Having a dog is having a furry person, like an Ewok, and you have to put up with the bad. I have had a terrible time with dogs, I have suffered when they have become ill, and I also get angry when a cretin tells me that the dog cannot enter her pharmacy and then I never enter that pharmacy again, I already like that lady evil. Same with hotels, restaurants, etc. It’s terrible that they don’t let dogs in, because they are people. I thought he had a peaceful character, but that’s a lie; I thought that dogs would make me better, but I have discovered things about myself that… If someone goes against my dogs, I get hot and angry inside… I get violent. It’s like they’re going against you now, against a friend of mine, because we’re already friends, right?

A: Of course yes.

Definitely, after this interview I want to be her friend; have a drink on a terrace with Marc Giró once a month (at least), with Terry and Leo, disheveled, at our side. My happiness level would undoubtedly increase several notches. Everyone should spend at least one afternoon in their life with Marc Giró. By medical prescription.