The whims for a certain object are a common reason for conflict between children and parents. Trying to take away a child’s toy at bedtime or depriving her of a grocery item she doesn’t need could cause her to throw a tantrum. To avoid these types of situations that generate great frustration among children, it is essential to know and apply some strategies of what is known as positive parenting or gentle parenting. These allow parents to get their children to obey them, without falling into some of the most common mistakes when imposing their authority.
Australian tiktoker Adelynn Minnee (@minneesday) has shared a video in which she advises parents on what to do and what not to do if we want children to return an object without throwing a tantrum, using her own daughter as an example.
To begin with, you should opt for simple phrases with few words, so that the child understands our request more easily: “Can you give me the tablet?” or “Give me the toy, please.” Parents should practice kindness and show their children that they also have respect for them. Remember to respond politely with a “thank you” when the item is returned to you.
Of course, this strategy won’t always work. Here’s what you should do if your child resists.
Don’t try to reason with your child about why he or she needs to return an item, especially if the child is very young. Never say phrases like “Give me the game console, it’s almost time for dinner.” Young children have difficulty processing and understanding these explanations and end up becoming frustrated.
Another fairly common mistake is trying to take the object from the child by force. Children have a very strong will and cannot stand anyone depriving them of their entertainment. Exceptions to this rule should only be made when the child has an object in his or her hands that could be dangerous.
The key is to encourage the child to return the object on his own. To do this, parents can make this request in the form of tasks or options. For example: “Do you want to put the toy in its place yourself?” or “Do you prefer to give the tablet to mom or dad?” When communicating with your child, don’t forget to make eye contact and thank them for returning the object, to encourage better understanding and cooperation.
Putting these types of strategies into practice will help you better understand how your child’s temperament works and which one best suits their own needs.
