Mery Viñas (Madrid, 1980) has been supporting thousands of women for over ten years in accepting their bodies without the need to change them and living in peace without diets, restrictions, guilt, or shame. This psychologist, specialized in the relationship with food and the body, knows exactly what she is talking about, as she herself went through an eating disorder, which motivated her to specialize in this field.
The diet culture is such a marked and normalized trend in society that its serious consequences are often overlooked. 70% of teenagers do not feel comfortable with their bodies and 6 out of 10 girls believe they would be happier if they were thinner, according to the Spanish Society of General Practitioners and Family Doctors.
The arrival of good weather is always accompanied by diet campaigns, focusing on “improving” the body, mainly that of women. Just a few days ago, the Dorsia cosmetic surgery clinics took over the center of Madrid with a gigantic advertising banner promoting breast augmentation under the slogan “Another summer changing the beach scene.” The advertisement featured a photo of a woman in a bra and a large sign reading “breast augmentation from 2,795 euros.” After the outrage and pressure generated on social media, the brand decided to remove the advertisement.
What is your opinion on the impact of this type of advertising on people’s self-esteem and mental health?
The message is terrible. It conveys this notion, on the one hand, that a woman’s [physical appearance] needs to change, and on the other hand, it talks about the scenery, as if we were just props in a beach landscape. It’s a violent message because it constantly objectifies women. Moreover, it’s displayed in a place where young girls and teenagers can see it, a population that is increasingly vulnerable.
These types of messages teach us to value ourselves through external validation. I am particularly concerned about those girls (and adult women) who constantly strive to fit into a beauty standard, as if they do not deserve to enjoy the beach unless they have a certain type of body.
What is diet mentality and how to know if we are experiencing it?
The diet mentality is a belief system surrounding food, distinguishing between what is good and what is bad, what I can eat and what I cannot, etc. It revolves around what, when, and how much I should eat, and is also related to how my body should look based on what I have eaten. This mentality ends up disconnecting the person, predominantly women, from what their body truly needs at any given moment.
Can it lead to an eating disorder if it persists over time?
Diets are the gateway to eating disorders. Not all of them lead to an eating disorder, but the vast majority start with a first diet. It is important to be very vigilant because, sometimes, we think we are doing it for our health when, in fact, we are doing just the opposite. Diets disrupt metabolism, add stress, and when it comes to health, it is crucial to consider mental health, something that diets overlook. All they generate is frustration, guilt, and shame for not achieving the expected results or what we have been told we would achieve by changing our bodies. No woman wakes up in the morning wanting to go on a diet; what she wants is to achieve the promise behind the diets, that is, to be successful and feel socially accepted and loved.
The 95% of people who diet regain the weight within a period of three to five years, and two thirds of them regain the initial weight.
There is a whole industry profiting from our insecurities, especially those of women, known as the discontent industry. Women constantly receive messages about everything that is wrong with our bodies, what we could improve, and if we don’t change it, it’s our fault. It is a cyclical process that feeds our insecurities so that we consume certain products ranging from shakes, pills, medications, surgeries, or extreme diets. There is no moment in a woman’s life that is safe from these messages, and at increasingly younger ages.
The industry creates insecurities in order to capitalize on them.
These are power structures that have been responsible for making us smaller. There is a very interesting book called The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf that talks about this. Diets are a great distraction for women. As long as women are busy with them, thinking that we always have something to “fix”, we will be less likely to project ourselves when it comes to conquering other areas. Therefore, there is a real interest in keeping us silenced and busy with these trivialities. If we added up the time, money, effort, and dedication to all these kinds of thoughts and invested them in other issues, we would be unstoppable.
Being on a permanent diet or constantly compensating and restricting food is practically a social obligation. How do we fight against these messages?
We are born with clear signals of hunger and satiety. A baby knows when they are hungry or not. As the years go by, we intervene, as mothers and fathers, with expressions like “eat everything” or “don’t eat it all, you’ll gain weight.” We start to disconnect from these signals and begin to follow orders. Initially from our parents, then from society. Therefore, instead of looking outside for “what to eat and when”, it is about turning it around and thinking “what am I hungry for and how much.” It’s about returning innate wisdom to the body and avoiding excessive control, as it will eventually lead to loss of control.
How does diet culture affect our self-esteem and mental health?
Diets are not synonymous with health because if they were, they would take into account mental health. As we have mentioned, 95% of diets fail, but it’s not you who fails, it’s the methods you have been told. Many women experience feelings of frustration and guilt, and try other diets that will also not be definitive. There are even women who stop doing certain related activities like going to the beach to hide their bodies. Many mothers also tell me that they regret not having taken pictures with their children during the first years after giving birth.
There are people who turn to food in difficult situations. Should we avoid emotional hunger from taking over us?
Starting from the premise that we are human beings, we cannot eat only when we are hungry. The relationship you have with food is always giving you information about how you are feeling. If you are binge eating, it’s because, at that moment, you don’t have another way to manage that emotion. Giving yourself permission and, the next day, saying: “Hey, what emotion was I feeling yesterday?” Maybe you need to feel the sadness you are avoiding or maybe you need to rest. It could also be that you feel lonely and perhaps you need to connect with others, or whatever is necessary, but you have to approach it from a different perspective. We need more resources and sometimes food is all we have. The important thing is not to feel guilty when we turn to emotional hunger, do it consciously, and then analyze what happened.
Does really having a fat body imply higher risk factors for our health?
There are risk factors, yes, but in science, correlation does not imply causation, and not all people with larger bodies will have a heart attack. Just as there are thin bodies and athletes who do. Many times we do not take into account the stigma that obese people suffer. Specifically, in the medical community, they receive mistreatment or misdiagnoses just for walking into the doctor’s office. There are patients who tell me: “I went to have my ear infection checked, and as soon as I walked in, they told me I needed to lose weight.” Would they have said the same thing to a thin person who had come in for the same reason? Health is measured by many parameters, and they all must be taken into consideration.
Weight is not synonymous with health. We need to consider what health means for each individual, not only on a physical level but also on an emotional one, and tailor it to each body. We are told to eat fruits and vegetables, but not everyone has the privilege of accessing them every day. It is necessary to change many things in the system, starting with incorporating nutritionists in the public health system. Not to mention the need for mental health specialists and the shortage of psychologists. There are many difficulties, but the message is always the same: “You are doing it wrong, if you are like this it’s your fault.”
Let’s talk about social networks. Can they act as a trigger or be a risk factor for developing an Eating Disorder?
Years ago, you didn’t have a constant exposure to the current models, but now you have it 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Let me give you an example. A few weeks ago, an influencer publicly denounced another who said, “How to lose X kilos in two months? Write the word ‘challenge’ and I’ll tell you how.” The post was filled with comments, including one from a girl who said, “I’m 13 years old, can I join the challenge?” And another one, aged 9, who also wanted to do “the challenge.” They don’t realize the harm they are causing. Social media are the gateway to eating disorders, and there are not enough regulatory measures in place.
But we still receive the message that successful people are white and thin.
We have to take the reins. If we have to wait for the system to change and put a person with a fat and racialized body on TV… When you walk down the street or watch TV, you can’t choose which bodies to see, but on social media you can. We also have to start looking for body diversity, which exists. Once you get used to it and “clean up” other types of accounts, it doesn’t seem so strange anymore. Ultimately, if we observe different body types on the street out of curiosity, you realize the diversity. If my scanner is only looking for thin bodies to compare them to mine, that’s all I’m going to see. You get used to beauty, but also to variety, and right now we have to seek it out.
Cosmetic surgeries increased by 215% from 2013 to 2021, without evaluating the mental health status of the patients. 85% of them are women. What do you think is the reason behind this exponential increase?
I cannot tell you as a psychologist because I haven’t researched it, but my intuition tells me that it has a lot to do with exposure to social media. Every day you see cases of women undergoing cosmetic surgeries, as if they were nothing. “I recovered in two weeks and it didn’t hurt at all,” they say. The posts are filled with comments about “how it was and how much it cost.” The reality is that many have had surgery for free, in exchange for advertising for the aesthetic center, and they are telling you about it without explaining, obviously, the risks. With just a click, you can search for someone who has had surgery, how can it not increase if access is so easy? These surgeries have always existed, but now they are much more accessible.
On the other hand, a psychologist should evaluate the mental health status of the patient before undergoing these procedures. Just like patients who visit a nutritionist should be assessed by psychologists. Many women undergo surgery and still have the same underlying issue, and they are permanently “hooked” on wanting to modify parts of their body.
The average age for these services has decreased from 35 to 20 years, according to the Spanish Society of Aesthetic Medicine (SEME).
Before, you used to go with a photo and say, “I want to look like this person”, now you go with your phone, showing your face with a filter.
Why you shouldn’t comment on other people’s bodies?
Bodies are not to be judged or commented on because you never know what each person is going through. There’s a phrase that I love: “We see bodies, but we don’t know their stories.” You don’t know if that person is thin because they’re suffering from depression or anxiety, have lost a loved one, or are ill. Furthermore, that person might think that if they gain weight later on, they won’t be considered beautiful anymore and, therefore, won’t receive those “compliments.” Or when someone says to you, “Oh, you look so pretty! Have you lost weight?” You receive the message that you weren’t before and that if you gain weight again, you won’t be either. I always say that if you truly want to show interest in a person, ask them “how are you?” instead of saying “you’ve lost weight.” If you want to genuinely compliment them, say something else: “Hey, I see you have a lot of energy, what’s going on in your life?”
What do you advise saying when someone comments on your body? Do you ignore it and resign yourself? Do you respond in an educational manner? Do you reply rudely?
These are the three ways to respond: passive, aggressive, or assertive. It all depends on how you feel. We don’t always have the energy to respond in an educational way because we already have enough with our internal struggles. But it is true that we must protect ourselves. Maybe not at that moment, but depending on the trust and relationship you have with that person, you can say: “The other day you commented on my body, but it didn’t sit well with me” or “I’m trying to avoid these types of comments, let’s talk about something else.” It’s uncomfortable, but we must protect ourselves and set boundaries, and perhaps in doing so, you also plant the seed of reflection in the other person. Comments about others’ bodies have been made since we were young and you end up incorporating that it is normal. But it is outrageous that it continues to happen.
The pursuit of thinness is urgent, but they will never tell you to your face that you have gained weight, no matter how healthy you may be. There are content creators fighting against fatphobia, like Mara Jiménez, known as @croquetamente on social media, who receives death threats for being fat. She has even been told that the rest of the world has to pay for her healthcare because of her. So, you ask yourself: “They don’t want us healthy, they want us sick. All they care about is that people are thin.”
A positive message in the face of so much fatphobia and aesthetic pressure.
We can do everything we deserve, and let these day-to-day obsessions not be an impediment to living the life we want. In the end, our bodies are vehicles that allow us to enjoy everything we do every day. It’s not about loving your body 100% and liking everything about it. We don’t aspire to that. It’s about understanding that you are in that process, that there are parts of your body that you don’t like, but that shouldn’t be an obstacle to living the life you deserve. Accepting your body is work, but it can be achieved. Therefore, I want to remind you that no one is born hating their body, so you will learn to love it again.
