While there are children so calm and prudent that they almost seem like adults, others have a surprising inclination for adventure and danger, testing their parents’ fear, patience, and protective instincts. Sometimes it is part of a prank in which it is necessary to intervene to avoid greater evils, but on many occasions, it is simply a behavior of play and exploration of the world, since when they are little they do not have the instinct for what to do so developed. is risky, what they can achieve or what could end in harm.
Given this situation, certain phrases that many parents repeat ad nauseam are “be careful”, “you’re going to fall” or “you’re going to get hurt”. A warning with which they hope their children will react by avoiding danger, often without success. And then comes the shock, the disgust, the reprimand and the “I told you so.”
The truth is that these phrases have very little effect on children, who either seem to not hear them, do not understand them, or simply choose to ignore them. Instead, a family therapist recommends other, more effective and educational alternatives.
Emily De La Torre is a family therapist who shares content about parenting and education on her Instagram profile where, under the alias @mindful_madre, she has almost 200 thousand followers. Among her publications, we find a video on how to act when faced with risky games by the little ones in the house.
He begins by highlighting that risk-taking is an important part of childhood and emphasizes that “children need this to develop body confidence, resilience, confidence and self-regulation.” That said, when adults anticipate potential problems, it is best to choose phrases that encourage critical thinking or suggest specific things for them to notice or do. That is, the objective is for them to stop and analyze the situation, be aware and reflect on how they should proceed next.
The expert indicates that shouting “be careful” serves as background noise for children, since it is so hackneyed that it does not provide information about how they should proceed. Therefore, she suggests opting for phrases that delve into the creative solution of the problem and strengthen the child’s sense of awareness, because “the more we allow them to solve problems, the more they can understand the limits of their body.” She herself presents a series of more appropriate examples.
