For some time now, concepts have proliferated with which to refer to different behaviors in the world of romantic relationships. The “almost somethings”, the breadcrumbing, the dreaded red flags… And also the love bombing.
Love bombing is a tactic that narcissistic people use to quickly win over someone. It consists of a form of idealization with which they control or emotionally manipulate the other person.
Psychotherapist Erin Leonard warns in an article published in Psychology Today that in love bombing the other person makes you feel on a pedestal and “can drop you at any moment.” Therefore, it is advisable to learn to distinguish love bombing. In this regard, the psychotherapist compiles three examples of comments with which to recognize love bombing.
When these types of comments come in the first few days, while you are just getting to know each other, it is a warning sign. “The statement is very general and makes you think that you are in a high status compared to your partner’s previous romantic partners,” explains Dr. Leonard, qualifying that “this can be a problem because the generality indicates that it is possible that the “The narcissist does not see you in a realistic, nuanced and grounded way.”
He insists that getting to know someone takes time and these types of statements make you think that you are safe, above others. But it could be a trick of the narcissistic person, who may even be saying the same thing to other people.
Here we find another suspicious statement, as they immediately grant you more status than anyone else in their life, “which is not realistic,” Leonard reflects. Furthermore, it is an indication of the absence of deep attachments in the other person’s life. And it also puts you in an uncomfortable situation, as you may feel the need to come to his help, believing that you are his only option. “Often, a person trapped in this dynamic will continually neglect his or her own responsibilities to save and rescue his or her partner,” in the expert’s words.
If this statement is made a few days after starting to date someone, it is “extreme” and “narcissistic” in the eyes of the psychotherapist. The other person seems to say that you are the only person in the world good enough for him or her, “as if they were an elite human being who grants you the ultimate privilege of being with them.”
There is an element of control hidden in this proclamation, as it seems to imply that you will be with the other person forever, “rather than a more egalitarian feeling that asks you what you think and feel about it,” concludes Dr. Leonard.
