Children have an overflowing amount of energy for them, since they still do not adequately manage the management of their strongest emotions. It is the fundamental mission of parents to teach them to establish limits. This is how Rachel FitzD, an expert in child rearing, explains it clearly and simply in her book Your Baby Skin to Skin.
The ideal thing so that this type of inappropriate behavior does not occur is, above all, that it not occur the first time. Which is obviously easier said than achieved. In the event of catching a child biting another child, it is recommended to intervene immediately by diverting their attention to something else: a toy, the television, a car that is passing by at that moment… Or, redirecting that action towards its affective equivalent, like a kiss, encouraging them to put it into practice.
For those times when parents can’t quite stop biting, Rachel FitzD recommends taking the following steps: Use a short, catchy word like “stop it!” at the same time that the little ones involved are immediately separated. Next, the parent must describe to the child what she has done in an age-appropriate way for her to understand, adding the negative emotion that her performance will have caused in the other child.
“Consequences come naturally and for children, who are endowed with a strong sense of justice, they work very well as a logical structure,” says the author. And while it is true that apologizing is always a good idea, it is convenient not to force them to do so at a very young age. At that stage it is very difficult for them to do it when they are embarrassed. In these cases, it is better for the father or the mother to do it on behalf of their child, expressing their faith that they will do it themselves in a short time. They can also show understanding that you are embarrassed to apologize at the moment, because they know that after a while, it will become easier for you.
No less important is turning the page quickly. The little ones must assimilate the information in the quantity and with the appropriate intensity. Once the parents have said what they had to say, in an understanding and cordial way.
Verifying that biting is definitely wrong, but that if he feels like doing it again he can go to his parents to let off steam and help him release that negative emotion, will always be a good added reinforcement. Educating him on the tools with which he can manage his emotions is to foster his self-control and self-awareness.
There is no reason to worry excessively, even if the child repeats these behaviors. With patience, understanding, firmness, and well-defined boundaries, children learn the naturalness of negative emotions like anger. But they also learn that there are better ways to deal with it than sinking their teeth into the flesh of the person next to you.
