Living alone is not being alone. Just as living with people does not mean that one feels accompanied. Loneliness is much more, it is a painful feeling that arises from the discrepancy between the social relationships that a person has and those that he would like to have. In Spain, 1.7 million people over the age of 70 live alone, but of the latter, almost 200,000 (192,000, 11.2%) have no one to talk to about their daily problems and feelings. And that hurts, it hurts a lot.
This is indicated by the Survey of Essential Characteristics of the Population and Housing (2021), which warns of a certain vulnerability among these people, since they run the risk of suffering more health problems and living more discouraged, explain Jesús Escudero and Clara Bueno, which belong to the Population group of the CSIC.
And it is that, as the experts say, human connections, social participation and friendships are the basis for fighting against unwanted loneliness and “a guarantee of well-being for older people. There is no better antidote to the feeling of loneliness than to talk and relate to other people on a daily basis”, point out the researchers in an article published in Envejecimiento en Red, from the Center for Human and Social Sciences of the CSIC (Institute of ‘ Economy, Geography and Demography).
Loneliness affects all ages, in fact, the latest data points to the fact that young people are the ones who feel the most lonely. The problem with the elderly is that social support diminishes as they enter old age. They are separated from friends and receive help from family. Then the children become their support.
This is the case of MarÃa GarcÃa, 72 years old. She lives alone since her children became independent and “she likes it. I don’t want to go live with anyone, I love my house, my bed, my silence”. Although MarÃa recognizes that a few years ago, she began to distance herself from the friends who have accompanied her throughout adulthood.
“You don’t know why, but you start going out less, you get lazier and you lose the desire… and one day you realize you barely have enough. And then you start to feel alone, because you have no one to talk to, except your children, who have enough trouble with work and their children. And, make no mistake, it is not enough. You always miss other people you can talk to without family ties.”
Then, MarÃa, who is an animal lover, had it clear. She took a dog from a protector, Tizón, with whom she is seen every morning, and also at lunchtimes and in the afternoons walking. And thanks to him – “Because dogs need to socialize”, he explains – he has met other people of different ages, with different concerns, while also collaborating with the shelter.
“Talking to others, meeting other people has given me life”, he points out. “I depend much less on my children and, moreover, when we see each other I also have to tell different stories,” he says.
“As people get older, children take over from friends, neighbors and relatives, who during the adult stage are the main source of social support among people who live alone”, Escudero and Bueno point out. A reality that, however, can be altered in the medium and long term.
“In a context of falling fertility and an increase in the percentage of single mothers and women who are not mothers, support for sons and daughters during old age could be reduced to the detriment of other types of relationship. In the worst case, it could also lead to an increase in people who have no one to talk to about everyday problems, and the incidence of risks associated with loneliness would increase in this way, they explain.
In addition to the role of children, “physical proximity is another important factor when it comes to providing social support. Close to 95% of people who relate to people who live alone reside in the same municipality or province in all age groups.
These figures could indicate that, despite the fact that we live in an age of distance communication and new technologies, physical and close contact still seems fundamental to avoid the feeling of loneliness, since it is expected that the closer you are, the more likely you will be with the person to talk to”, say the researchers.
The highest percentage of elderly people living alone without social support is recorded in the autonomous city of Ceuta, which doubles the national figure. Then there are the Canary Islands and Castilla y León, where more than 13% of the elderly living in single-person households have no one to talk to about their feelings.
On the opposite side of the scale is the Region of Murcia and La Rioja, with percentages below 9%, according to the National Institute of Statistics (INE).
