Has that ever happened to you when you received a compliment and left with a bad taste in your mouth? As if something didn’t fit, maybe a word or just the tone. The thing is, part of that supposed flattery doesn’t sound like it should. And it doesn’t seem to make sense because, after all, it’s something positive, right?
Well, the reality is that usually those comments that supposedly seem to be made with a good intention are not at all. The reality is that it is a clear sign of manipulation. And it is what is known as negging, something that should be known and identified in order to unmask anyone who approaches with a sneaky intention.
Negging is the way in which a practice that is carried out with the sole objective of manipulating the other person is known. This is giving another person a comment that is ambiguous enough to seem like something positive, done with genuine good intentions towards the listener. But the objective is totally different, since it really is an insult, a humiliation or a covert lack of respect.
People who do negging seek to generate a state of anxiety in the other party, cause them discomfort and stress. Although, since this is an insult disguised as a compliment, this allows these manipulators to justify themselves and get away with it in different ways. In general, making the other individual believe that they have misinterpreted them, thus managing to turn the situation around and cause guilt and insecurity.
And that is precisely the intention of negging, that is, to make the person who receives it feel insecure and to lower their self-esteem and self-confidence. In addition, it will reinforce a need for validation.
As it is a fairly common manipulation technique that allows the person who uses it to continue hiding behind the misinterpretation of the listener, it is important to know how to identify it and not be fooled.
One of the signs that you are being negged is when those comments seek to ridicule the person, either because of one of their behaviors, hobbies, or other types of aspects related to their personality. It can also be seen when the intention of the alleged flattery is none other than to mock the beliefs or opinions of the person to whom it has been dedicated. To find out, you just have to look at what words or expressions he uses. For example, when it comes to downplaying the importance or worth of certain achievements that have been achieved. If those comments arouse feelings of insecurity, it’s probably a case of negging.
