Prominent Family Lawyer Advocates for Equal Custody Rights
“Relationships don’t last anymore,” observed comedian Rita Rudner. “When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is, ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?’”
Great joke — horrible reality. A new solution is on the horizon, though. After years of research, writer and activist Emma Johnson has come up with the best answer to the question of which parent should get majority custody of the children after a divorce.
You can guess it from the title of her new book: “The 50/50 Solution: The Surprisingly Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier and Healthier after a Split.”
“Whether they live in separate homes by divorce, separation, or maybe they were never together in a relationship to begin with, a 50/50 schedule is what is going to be best for the children’s outcomes,” says Ms. Johnson, the Solomon of divorce.
It’s also “best for the moms, in terms of their income-earning ability and well-being,” she adds. “And it’s really what’s best for dads and men.”
Ms. Johnson has spent more than a decade running the wildly popular Wealthy Single Mommy blog, advising moms struggling with money, child care and dating issues. Part of the problem, she quickly realized, is that the culture has come to believe it’s a no-brainer that divorced moms should get majority custody of the children.
But there’s no real reason for that assumption, says Ms. Johnson, a divorced mom herself. That model was based on “these old, dated ideas about attachment — the idea that more time with mom, with one single caregiver (is best). I bought into that idea myself,” she admits.
Bonding with both parents is better because when the dad is truly a co-parent, he is far more likely to stay in the children’s lives. “And father absence is a huge, huge risk factor for kids that plays out throughout their lives,” Ms. Johnson says.
The weekends-only model “signals to the dad that he doesn’t matter because he’s got the children 30 percent of the time,” says Ms. Johnson. It signals this to the children too.
Relegated to second-tier status, and absent from day-to-day family life, dads are more likely to drift away. Bonding comes from dealing with “the good and the bad. Getting your 4-year-old to get their shoes on and out the door. You fight about bath time and you get to have that snuggle bedtime story,” Ms. Johnson says. Without that whole spectrum, dads “don’t develop as parents.”
The weekends-only arrangement is stunting them.
What happens when the arrangement is 50/50? Ms. Johnson points to Kentucky, an early adopter of the equal parenting law. After it passed, she says, domestic violence filings went down. So did child abuse.
In Ohio, where some districts have adopted the 50/50 law and others haven’t, her research found the same thing: In the 50/50 pockets, “substantiated child abuse charges were lower.”
Right now there are dozens of bills throughout America that would make equal parenting schedules the default. Who is against them? Sometimes divorce lawyers, Ms. Johnson believes. After all, they do best when parents keep fighting. She also blames the old-school notion that, in a divorce, it is the dad’s job to give their exes space and money, period.
Yet only 40 percent of child support ever gets paid. And for struggling families, that support can amount to just a couple hundred dollars a month, Ms. Johnson says. In which case having child care half the week would allow moms to make more than that.
“Historically,” Ms. Johnson says, “divorce was a fight, and how do you win? You take his money and you take his kids and then you win.” But with a 50/50 law, “you take the fight out of it.” You keep both parents in, which keeps the divorced family, in its own way, intact.
Creators.com
Equal Custody: A Paradigm Shift
Emma Johnson’s advocacy for equal custody rights marks a significant paradigm shift in the realm of family law and parenting post-divorce. By challenging the traditional notion that mothers should automatically receive majority custody of the children, Johnson’s work aims to create a more balanced and beneficial environment for all parties involved in the separation process.
The concept of a 50/50 custody schedule may seem radical to some, but Johnson’s research and experience indicate that it can lead to positive outcomes for both parents and children. By emphasizing the importance of shared parenting responsibilities, Johnson highlights the value of fathers being actively involved in their children’s lives post-divorce.
Impact on Children and Families
The impact of equal custody rights on children and families cannot be overstated. Research shows that children benefit greatly from having both parents actively engaged in their upbringing, providing them with emotional support, stability, and a sense of security. By fostering strong relationships with both parents, children are more likely to thrive academically, socially, and emotionally.
Furthermore, equal custody arrangements can lead to a reduction in domestic violence and child abuse cases, as evidenced by the positive outcomes observed in states that have adopted such laws. By promoting shared parenting, these laws aim to create a more harmonious and supportive environment for children to grow and develop.
Challenges and Resistance
Despite the clear benefits of equal custody rights, there are still challenges and resistance to be overcome. Divorce lawyers, in particular, may oppose such laws as they thrive on prolonged legal battles between parents. Additionally, societal norms and outdated beliefs about parental roles in divorce cases can hinder progress towards equal custody arrangements.
However, as more states consider legislation that would make equal parenting schedules the default, there is hope for a more equitable and child-centered approach to post-divorce parenting. By prioritizing the well-being of children and promoting the active involvement of both parents, society can move towards a more inclusive and supportive family structure.
In conclusion, Emma Johnson’s advocacy for equal custody rights represents a significant step towards creating a more balanced and harmonious post-divorce environment for families. By challenging traditional beliefs and advocating for shared parenting responsibilities, Johnson’s work has the potential to positively impact the lives of children and parents alike.
