Jacobo Bergareche (London, 1976) does not like to say goodbye. “And who yes?”, he asked himself a few days ago in Mallorca during the Magaluf Expanded Literature Festival (FLEM), in which he participated. “If there is to be one, I prefer it to be short and that there is the promise of a reunion”, he confesses to La Vanguardia.
Grief, comings and goings in relationships, infidelity, separations… all these are topics he addresses in his new book, Las despedidas, which narrates the life of Diego, a man who meets a scroll youth that he met at the Burning Man festival and that helped him overcome the traumatic death of his cousin.
“He found her at a vital moment in his life. He wants to see her and talk to her, but he knows that this will force him to give uncomfortable explanations to his wife, Claudia”, continues the author, who meditates a lot on whether or not there is a midlife crisis. “At 40 it could be said that you have reached the middle of your life and you have to think very carefully about what the second half will be like. It’s time to renew or not to subscribe to all the things you have. And sometimes, we do crazy things.”
The wear and tear of love is a subject that has been lingering in the author’s mind for years and he also reflected it in his previous work, Los días perfectos, in which a journalist reconstructs the memory of a love affair and reflects on his tedious marriage. “Cutting is a trauma, it costs a lot. Relationships always last five years longer than they should because people are educated. And also because separating is scary and very expensive. You stop being able to access things and a lifestyle that you could only access with a partner and you can’t get there alone”. The book begins with verses from the Prisoner’s Romance, which Bergareche recites from memory. “It’s a metaphor for what will happen in the book.”
The son’s admiration for his father also permeates its pages. “For young children, their father is everything. Your approval is always sought. But there is a moment when the situation changes and it is the father who seeks for the son to look at him with good eyes”, he acknowledges. Can it be changed so that this always happens? “It is almost impossible. We only change if life gives us a huge wafer. An accident, an illness or a death”, as happens to the protagonist when he loses his cousin Tomás.
Bergareche warns of the chronicling of grief and its consequences. “There are those who believe that pain is a way of holding back what has died. I, on the other hand, think you need to let go and accept. Life is about overcoming obstacles and remembering with a smile and not with a stab in the heart”, he concludes.
