Imma Marín is one of the top gambling experts in Spain. Author of several books on games in business and education, she expresses that she wrote the book because she felt the desire to address families. “As a grandmother, I spend many hours in parks and I see parents so disoriented, stressed and with so little desire to play that I feel sorry for them and the children. I see them engrossed in front of their mobile phones and I want to tell them to enjoy their little children: they grow up very fast”, he explains. The longing for the game, he continues, comes out in all the parents’ meetings, a nostalgia for being small again, and this is exactly what parenting allows, to play like children again and, on top of that, without ceasing to be adults in who drools to see their children play. “That’s why I wrote this book”, he confesses. Jugar (Paidós) is a guide, structured by ages. “Hopefully the Kings of the East will turn off their mobile phones so that families can play more”.
We are in the middle of a debate about the use of mobile phones at school. Are you in favor of restricting it?
Until the age of 16 or 14, as many experts recommend, children should not have their own mobile phone, because they will hardly have the self-control needed to manage it. Thus, the debate should no longer reach school. There are other screens in the classrooms. In addition, the mobile phone perverts the playground time, which should be used to socialize. I would also listen to the students. However, this is also a debate for adults. The mobile is used constantly, even in meetings.
And, screens at home?
This is the chapter that took the most time to write because, to paraphrase Carles Capdevila, I don’t want to be paranoid or blessed. Of course, from 0 to 3 years, zero screens. Hearing a voice on a screen is not the same as hearing your mother’s or father’s voice. Touching an object, noticing its volume, roughness or its smell is not the same as seeing it on a tablet. Neurologists warn of the harm.
And then?
Play allows for healthy growth. It is our way of understanding the world. A baby doesn’t know what his mother’s name is, if she’s smart, tall, pretty. But he recognizes her out of a thousand because he has played with her. Screens can enrich the play that is already common in a family, but if it is not part of the family relationship, it risks stealing quality time. If we have lunch and dinner watching TV, each one with his cell phone on the table, if the children close themselves to the screens and go to their rooms, and we are doing well… all these micro-decisions we make affect the well-being of children. Now, there are very creative video games to play as well. I’m more concerned about mobile phones and social networks.
And the fear of betting or elporno?
Everything that comes to us through the mobile phone is designed to catch our attention and encourage us to consume it. We need to be aware of this and ask that childhood be legislated and protected. And communicate with the children to be able to accompany them.
Can you go back to the time when there were no screens and kids played all day?
This time passed and not only through the screens. It used to be played in the street, with brothers or cousins. Children occupied the public space. Fathers, especially mothers, were more present because – unfortunately – they did not work. Meetings with other children must now be planned, and leisure time must “serve” something. Diaries are filled with extracurricular activities and time to play freely, with friends or alone, shrinks. We forget that the game is an end in itself, not a means to achieve anything. Our role is to create the conditions for it to happen and trust the children’s abilities to know what interests them.
Do you think it would improve mental health if there was more gaming?
When a child walks around his doll pretending to rush to the pediatrician, he is probably reproducing the abuse he felt when he was forced to do this. Free play is that I take this here and pretend it’s patties and do what I want, like force-eating my doll. I invent the world in my own way (and I don’t just imitate it). Or I start running and get away from my parents. I make active what I have lived passively and thus reinterpret it and free myself. This is mental health. Human beings need to play out their fears, their desires, their anxieties. By the way, children play less outdoors and do fewer physical activity games than before.
The Kings of the East will bring many games and toys. The children’s desire to play has not been lost.
And that is very good. But beware of accumulating and accumulating. Too many toys kills the desire to play. We must clean, as we do with the clothes that are small, and leave only what is appropriate for the age (consensus with them).
Racing games?
At a young age, up to 4 or 5 years old, they are not ready. But as they grow it’s very healthy because it allows them to learn to get frustrated at something they can handle. Games cause conflicts and you learn to solve them. Also to submit to some rules, to respect them. It allows you to understand democracy, for example. Of course, as an adult you have to be able to sustain the conflict and admit that maybe one of the children is angry because of losing or because of the slowness of another… And it may be that he leaves the game. Winning and losing does not happen only in board games, also in symbolic play because one child has one idea to play and another, another. And you have to agree. And it happens that, after the pact, it is no longer winning or losing. They both won. Of course, children need time to reach agreements, one of the most beautiful gifts we can offer them.
