Unwanted loneliness is an experience that affects people of all ages. According to a report from the State Loneliness Observatory, three out of ten girls and two out of ten boys feel lonely. Humans are social beings who tend to avoid loneliness and boredom at all costs through work or entertainment options. But when the screens turn off, symptoms such as fear, anger or sadness resurface. A change of perspective on the feeling of loneliness is essential to learn to enjoy it.
The American coach, writer and journalist, Gregg Levoy, points out in an article for Psychology Today that the desire to connect with society through outings, romantic encounters or volunteering can be counterproductive. And it is possible that in this way we only transfer our loneliness to the public and even increase this feeling. Have you never felt alone despite being in a crowd or with a partner? This can also feed our guilt, since we ‘should not’ feel alone in company.
Others cannot change our feeling of loneliness either, as it is likely due to internal discomfort. Instead of transferring our problem to another person or resorting to external stimuli to ignore it, it is best to face it directly. That is why you should take a reasonable amount of time for silence and reflection, to help you change from a negative perspective of loneliness to a neutral feeling. But in what ways can this be done?
Loneliness is often imposed by life circumstances such as, for example, moving to a new city or when children leave home. In these types of situations it is essential to learn to be alone. This is a pure survival mechanism that, however, will allow us to know the most authentic, private and unconscious version of ourselves: belonging to ourselves to belong to others.
Self-care, understood as cultivating activities that satisfy us physically, emotionally, and spiritually, is one of the best tactics to take advantage of loneliness. Meditation, exercise, painting or any creative action can help us calm anxiety and contribute to our overall well-being, as well as establish a deeper connection with ourselves. Solitude is a perfect opportunity to recharge our batteries, improve the relationship with our inner self and prepare ourselves to once again enjoy the company of others as well as ourselves.
