The Christmas holidays are supposed to be a time of happiness and fellowship with loved ones. However, the risk of arguing with our family, friends or co-workers seems latent during the numerous meetings that take place on these dates. According to an article in the Harvard University Health Publishing Service, this is completely normal. Next, we explain what are the main factors that can affect our irascibility and some tips to celebrate a Christmas without arguments.
There are several reasons why we are more susceptible to the comments of the people who accompany us at Christmas celebrations and which can be the trigger for an argument. Justin Gills, a clinical therapist at a Harvard-affiliated hospital, summarizes them as follows:
Our excitement and emotional vulnerability increases for these reasons to the detriment of reasonable behavior. This jeopardizes our ability to control and express feelings, which can lead us to adopt a defensive attitude.
Experts recommend anticipating these types of situations to learn to control emotions in a moment of heated discussion. A strategy that can help you, if you are the host, is to set a time limit for the meeting, to reduce the chances of the celebration degenerating.
Already at dinner, if any sign of argument arises, it is advisable to team up with someone who gives you a signal to change the subject and thus interrupt the conflict. It may also be helpful to prepare some evasive answers to questions that may spark debate. Remember that two don’t argue if one doesn’t want to, so if you see the tone of the conversation escalating, offering to wait on the table or faking a phone call are always effective distractions.
It depends in part on our attitude to recover the calm of the celebration. Use assertiveness when faced with challenging questions and try to respect the perspectives and opinions of others. And finally, remember the reason you are there, which is none other than to celebrate the holidays with joy, and not to solve lost causes.
