The arrival of a baby to the couple brings with it many positive aspects, but it is clear that it is not a bed of roses and, of course, it represents the worst idea for those relationships that do not have a healthy and stable bond. It is not for nothing that it is said that, many times, upbringing destroys the couple. A statement in some way supported by the Observatory of the Spanish Association of Family Lawyers, since they assure that the main reason for divorce is precisely due to the stress generated by raising children in cases of “wear and tear, distance and lack of communication.” ”.
And this is precisely the consequence of what is known as the ‘baby clash’, the term that refers to the relationship crisis that is suffered when having a child. Why it happens? Mainly, due to all the physical and mental changes that this fact implies. Exhaustion and mental load, together with hormonal chaos, cause irritability to increase and make it easier to fall into arguments and reproaches. The same thing happens with the fact that a whole series of new responsibilities and obligations arise, with the pressure that entails. And, especially, that all this happens without effective communication.
The arrival of a baby to the couple implies a whole revolution, both in the relationship and in the lifestyle, and many other aspects. Therefore, difficulties arise and, if it is not managed as it should, consequences arise, some of which can be fatal for the bond between the two.
Due to this state of irritability, arguments and negative comments, the couple becomes more and more distant. In addition, it is possible that feelings of resentment or reproaches may be experienced, especially if these are not communicated in an adequate way and become entrenched. In the end, the couple’s complicity is lost, the union weakens and communication worsens. The result is that this causes an impoverishment or intoxication of the relationship. And, sometimes, the last consequence is to separate.
The most important thing before the arrival of a baby is that the couple faces it together, that is, with the same attitude and motivation to learn together and to overcome all those difficulties that arise as a team, collaborating with each other. To achieve this, one of the pillars will be communication, both to communicate and to actively listen. Always in a calm, respectful and assertive manner. Setting aside time to dedicate to your partner is essential, but it is also essential that both parties can continue to have individual time.
