Those who know the most and those who least know ghosting refers to people who leave a relationship without giving any explanation to the other person. But there are other terms to define certain behaviors typical of toxic relationships. Firedooring, a word composed of the English voices fire (fire) and door (door), describes the behavior of those couples who use the couple as if it were an emergency exit. That is, he stays by the other person’s side as long as it suits him and, when there is a ‘fire’, he lets the other person ‘burn’ to his fate.
Similes aside, firedooring relationships are unbalanced ties in which there is no reciprocity. One of the members deliberately acquires the attitude of approaching and serving the couple only when they are interested or can bring them some benefit or favor. Meanwhile, the person who suffers firedooring remains expectant until the other decides to resume their commitment.
Firedooring relationships are toxic and unequal, in which love and affection flow in only one direction. As psychologist Rony Begood explains in an article, This imbalance occurs because the person who practices firedooring lacks all empathy and emotional responsibility. He enters, gets involved in the relationship and, when he has satisfied a specific need, he leaves. Generally, the couple contacts again at times or appointments proposed by this person.
The member of the couple who suffers firedooring has a great emotional dependence on the other. These are usually naive people or people with low self-esteem who endure the continuous ups and downs of the relationship, among other things, because they think that they could not find someone better or that it is the type of relationship to which they can aspire. Whoever exercises firedooring takes advantage of this circumstance to exercise total control over this person, whom he uses to achieve a certain objective and then keeps enough distance so as not to break the bond.
The patterns of firedooring relationships are cyclical: although one unilaterally reappears and disappears, the other awaits and maintains hope for a change of attitude. Resentment and continuous tension give rise to mistrust and jealousy, which has serious consequences for the trapped person. The imbalance in the relationship will end up extrapolating to your psychological well-being, with the appearance of problems of lack of self-esteem, anxiety or depression.
If you suspect that you suffer from this type of behavior in your relationship and it is having an impact on your mental health, it is advisable to talk to a person you trust or ask for psychological help. This will help you make a decision and leave behind a person who, no matter how much you love them, is undermining your emotional well-being.
