Summer is often associated with a time of fun and enjoyment. The holidays and the end of the routine give rise to making leisure plans and getting involved in new adventures. However, this greater amount of free time also puts the harmony of family life against the ropes.
Just as couple arguments become more frequent in summer, the same happens with conflicts between siblings. Not surprisingly, now they spend much more time together, giving rise to friction and fights over any trifle. From not wanting to share a toy to who controls the television remote, to where to sit at the table or what music will be played on the way in the car.
Whatever the trigger, sibling fights are an unpleasant time for the whole family. Especially when they happen on a recurring basis and hinder our expectations of a nice vacation together. In these situations, it is important to know how to act to avoid and resolve them.
First of all, it is essential that parents remain calm in the face of a conflict between their children. If you intervene nervously and shouting, the situation will most likely get worse. Take a deep breath and face the fight calmly, instilling serenity in the children.
Analyze the magnitude and severity of the conflict. If it’s a relatively controlled discussion, it’s best to let the children figure it out on their own. In this way, they will learn to be decisive and find solutions to their problems. If, on the contrary, the fight turns violent and there are verbal or physical attacks, you should intervene reminding them that they should never cross that line.
In the face of a conflict of these characteristics, you must be the best example. If they usually see their parents argue in a violent and disrespectful way, raising their voices and throwing things in their faces, they will surely repeat this behavior. On the other hand, if they are used to seeing you resolve differences calmly and respectfully, through dialogue and respect, they will internalize these values.
Talk to them so that they slowly explain what has happened, ask them how they feel and how they think their brother or sister has felt. You have to validate their emotions without judging them and focus on empathy: just as you must put yourself in their place, they must put themselves in that of their brothers, to better understand each other.
Finally, it’s time to find a common solution. Ask them to talk to each other to reach an agreement and a solution to the conflict and, if they are too small or do not succeed, help them to achieve it. You must find a common meeting point where all parties feel comfortable and the apologies are sincere.
