What makes a narcissist? The answer is not at all clear among psychologists, but if they do find consensus on something, it is that factors such as genetics or the environment have an influence. And that is something that directly affects the parenting method that children receive from their parents. In many cases, adults try to offer a safe environment, full of care and comfort for their offspring, however, this can backfire. Or in the child’s. Since the behavior of the parents can give rise to narcissistic children.
It should be noted that this is not a minor matter, since this is not a simple personality trait. The psychologist Manuel Escudero defines what is considered a narcissistic someone: “A person with a narcissistic personality disorder usually has an excessive sense of their own importance, a deep need for attention and admiration and an attitude of contempt and devaluation of others” . This leads to a lack of empathy and difficulties in social relationships, for example.
During the upbringing of their children, many parents strive to transmit certain values ??to their children so that they develop their self-esteem. Something that, if not done well, can sometimes lead to these children stimulating a narcissistic disorder. Therefore, a key differentiation must be made.
A child with healthy self-esteem is someone who values ??and accepts himself for who he is. However, a narcissistic child considers himself better than the rest, with whom he constantly compares himself, and, unlike the other child, he bears the need to demonstrate this superiority.
Parents who consider their children to be better than others—smarter, more skilled, and even more handsome—and constantly let them know so, will feed children’s narcissism. This can be caused by multiple factors, including concern for them to stand out in such a competitive society or, frequently, for instilling in them a self-esteem that will be distorted by these erroneous methods.
The psychologist Grant Hilary Brenner explains that attitudes of overprotection, excessive authoritarianism and the aforementioned overvaluation of parents towards their children represent determining factors in creating narcissistic children.
So how do you work on a child’s self-esteem without ending up being a narcissist? A fundamental point is not to compare him with other children, each one is a world and has different virtues. On the other hand, his effort will always be praised, not the achievements he has managed to achieve, since sometimes certain goals are achieved and others are not. This leads to the importance of letting them know that sometimes mistakes are made or things don’t go well, but they are experiences to learn from, they should not be ashamed of them.
