Facing rejection from a person for whom you felt a love interest is not easy. Whether it is someone with whom you were in a relationship but who has stopped wanting to be with you, or whether it is someone with whom you started something informal (or the popular ones nowadays called “almost something”) and, even if you want a stable relationship , the other person does not want to continue seeing you.
Or even if you start to have feelings towards a friendship that are not reciprocated. The other person may even have told you that they like you, but that they don’t want to have anything serious with you because they don’t feel that connection or because they aren’t looking for a formal relationship right now.
Whatever the case, that heartbreak or disappointment not only brings with it unease and sadness for wanting to be with that person, but also a feeling of sadness and frustration for feeling insufficient. Why doesn’t he want anything to do with me? Why aren’t you interested in me, why don’t you like me? Have I done something wrong? They are recurring questions with which we try to find justification for that interest or that unrequited love. But the truth is that this has nothing to do with ourselves or our own self-worth and this is how a psychologist explains it.
Alicia González is a psychologist, writer and lecturer. On her Instagram profile (@aliciagonzalezpsicologia) she has more than 540 thousand followers, with whom she shares educational content about psychology, mental health and relationships.
Among his videos, he has one in which he delves into how we should face rejection from a person who does not want to have a relationship with you. “The person I like tells me that he loved me but that he doesn’t want a serious relationship with me,” she begins his story. She explains that, in this case, there is a very fine line that we must learn to separate.
On the one hand, we have to “allow ourselves to be frustrated and sad, because the person I like does not like me.” But, on the other hand, we have to accept that “that person has the right to love me, but they don’t feel that connection, just as there are many people who may be part of my group of friends that I love, but I don’t feel that connection.” connection that I want to feel with a partner and it has nothing to do with them not being enough, it is simply my opinion, an opinion of a person, the same importance as precisely the person who does not correspond to you,” adds the psychologist.
In the text that accompanies his video, he insists that we should not “allow one person’s opinion to have so much power.” “Has no sense. Or does your opinion also dictate judgment for others? If you don’t like someone, does that mean that they are not a valid person in general? No,” says Alicia González. This is a respectable opinion and, “when faced with it, the only thing you have to do is close the door when you leave,” concludes the psychologist.
