Maybe you’ve never acknowledged it out loud, but it’s something you feel and it makes you uncomfortable. Having a favorite child seems like a taboo topic, when the truth is that it is common. But it’s not about loving one of your children more and neglecting the others. Feeling a predilection for one of them is a more complex issue on an emotional level and there is nothing wrong with it.
Sara Noguera, mother of four children and specialist in respectful parenting, delves into her Instagram profile (@kimudi_crianza, with almost 50 thousand followers) about the fact of having a favorite child. In her reflection, she offers a different approach to this question, explaining why it is not a preference as such, but rather the fact of feeling a closer connection with a child or that their upbringing is less demanding than that of your brothers. Thus, its purpose is to banish prejudice about this concept and make those who have the feeling of having a favorite child not feel guilty about it.
“I have a favorite son, with whom I feel like a better mother, with whom I have the feeling that everything is easier, less demanding and with whom I am more receptive. With whom, I don’t deny it, I feel like spending more time or sharing more time alone,” begins Sara Noguera’s reflection.
He proposes changing the expression “I have a favorite child” to “I have a child with whom I connect more.” This may be because his age is more bearable, or because he reminds you of things from your childhood that move you positively. Or simply because accompanying them is easier than accompanying their brother or sister, because it gives you more movement or more calm.
Furthermore, he adds that this favoritism can change from one child to another. “It is not set in stone and our interests and needs vary to make us connect with each other,” she remarks.
He insists in this regard that “the favorite thing is not the person, but what connects me with them and that evolves with each one of us.” “There is time for everyone, there is love for everyone, there is interaction with everyone. The guilt of having a favorite does not represent the reality of what each of our family members means to us,” she explains in the publication.
Thus, it highlights that having a favorite child does not imply loving him more than his siblings. “As long as the other members of the family feel loved, cared for, listened to… everything will be in its place,” he notes. “May feeling more connected never become an excuse to neglect others, may it be something that adds value and makes us grow on an individual and family level.”
Finally, he concludes his reflection by asking “that no one make us think that feeling something like this is bad, that the complexity of emotions and feelings goes far beyond a judgment.”
