Why I’ve Decided to Stop Making Friends at Work
Back in 2008, shortly after moving from New York to Singapore, I found myself happily settled in my new life. I had a group of welcoming colleagues from around the world who made the transition easy by offering tips, inviting me to lunch, and even organizing picnics. One day, I invited some coworkers over for Thanksgiving, and it turned into a memorable evening filled with food, laughter, and new friendships.
Over the years, I’ve maintained strong connections with former colleagues, attending weddings, visiting friends abroad, and hosting get-togethers in Singapore. These friendships didn’t just start in Singapore; they began in New York, where I formed lasting bonds over bagels and pizza. However, the pandemic changed everything. As I transitioned to working from home, I found it challenging to cultivate the same level of camaraderie with my new coworkers.
Research shows that many people have met close friends through work, but the shift to remote work has made it harder to form meaningful connections. While there are benefits to working from home, such as flexibility and time for personal activities, the lack of face-to-face interaction has impacted our ability to develop friendships. Despite efforts to stay connected virtually, I’ve found it difficult to forge the same deep relationships that I once enjoyed with colleagues in a physical office setting.
As Thanksgiving approaches this year, I find myself questioning how to navigate the dynamics of work relationships in a remote environment. While I appreciate the convenience of virtual communication, I miss the spontaneity and shared experiences that often lead to genuine friendships. Perhaps it’s time to reevaluate my approach to forming connections at work and consider how to bridge the gap between virtual interactions and meaningful relationships.
