The weeks leading up to summer vacation seem like the world is ending and all assignments have to be turned in instantly. Clearing pending jobs before leaving becomes a race against time. To this is added the family logistics with children without school. And, as if that were not enough, it is also necessary to add the organization of vacations and trips (if they are made), care for sick relatives, the heat…
How do you manage all that in emotional terms? Is there anything that can be done so that pre-holiday stress does not overwhelm us? How do we have to take the summer break to really disconnect? Roser Claramunt is a psychologist and coach, with a master’s degree in NLP and personal skills trainer. She gives us some basic keys from the neuroscience of well-being.
We arrived at the holidays absolutely exhausted. Are we doing something wrong? Don’t we know how to live?
We wouldn’t have to make it to summer like this. I insist on the courses I do in company. We wait for the weekend to rest, but we have a thousand obligations, responsibilities and appointments, especially when there are children. We arrived at the rest time with high expectations, but very exhausted. And, ultimately, the holidays are the accumulation of weekends that have not given us enough of themselves. When we are really rested, the mind already thinks that we have to go back.
What warning signs does the body give if we have excessive stress? In this time of countdowns to deliver jobs and settle tasks, it is common…
The body speaks in the form of physical fatigue, exhaustion, insomnia, dispersion and lack of concentration and memory. Also lack of motivation, irritability, headache, gastrointestinal problems, headache, anxiety… All of this is made worse by being in a very sedentary society. In addition, the jobs have changed a lot, there is a lot of demand, you sleep badly. We must add the family, work and personal problems of each one.
Among the tips to deal with pre-holiday stress and the rest of the year, you highlight sports and sleep habits. Because?
It costs a lot, but it is basic, it is a matter of healthy habits. You have to do physical exercise, climb the stairs if you can’t go to the gym, move to reduce anxiety, eliminate stress. We can only do twenty minutes of sports, but regularly, because it is key for the mind. Sleep habits help a lot, always go to sleep at the same time and take a ten-minute break at noon. If we cannot take a nap, take ten minutes of planned breaks during the day. Just as we plan all the work, we plan rest spaces, technology pounds, we are silent, we do breathing, mindfulness…
How many of these breaks should we take during the day?
It depends on the profile of the person and the type of work of each one. As a minimum, you should take a break first thing in the morning and one at the end of the day (that are part of self-care, such as brushing your teeth before going to sleep). During the day, if we do an intensive schedule, maybe make two stops in between.
When we stop, do we have to do it without screens?
In these five minutes we can talk to someone, stretch, drink water, look out the window. Currently, when we stop, send whatsapps, look at things on Google and get even more stressed, we don’t let our brain stop. We have to try to put the phone down for a while.
This talking with the people around us, when we stop, seems evident… Do personal relationships have a lot of power?
You have to cultivate hobbies and personal relationships to combat anxiety and feel better. We have to find space to interact with people, talk, laugh. This helps to reduce the perception of stress.
You also recommend, with the accumulation of work in the weeks leading up to the holidays, setting limits and prioritizing. As?
Sometimes we fail in this, especially women, doomed to serve everyone. How to do it? Set some things that are a priority for yourself, like spending 20 minutes doing yoga, going for a walk, or reading. Delegating and asking for help, you can say “I can’t do this until tomorrow, it tastes bad; Can you help me with this other thing?” At home and at work. There are many personal peculiarities, and it is not easy. In addition, you have to fight against pre-established habits. If you never say no, when you set your mind to it, it has to be done gradually.
Where do we put the limits?
We think about what things make us the most angry to do, annoy us the most, carve us. We have to put a stop to these as soon as possible, we have to bet on an assertive request. Sometimes we stay in the complaint, but if we ask for help, 90% of the time the other person reacts well, we have to ask for it, not when we are tired screaming at sunset. You have to sit down and think about what things I want to prioritize and what I want to stop spending time on, what things add to me and what remains.
And when we add tasks and requests at work?
Stop and think about your role within the description of the workplace. Start with the things they really expect of you, and lower the level of self-demand. Saying no to some meetings is relevant, the ones that are not necessary. You can sit down with your superior if you are overwhelmed with work, with a record of everything you have to do, and establish what is a priority and what someone else can do. You have to allocate a weekly time to set weekly priorities, we can use the technique of three or five priorities per week or day; I start with these, and this gives me a sense of control, helps the fact that mental exhaustion is not so great, limits the “I can’t make it”.
Summer and vacations seem to have to be perfect. Is this also stressful? Do we have pressure everywhere?
It depends on the people, but sometimes the holidays are a great source of stress. You have to be well, be with your family, be happy, that everything goes well… And this is a very big super demand, that when the person is physically and mentally exhausted, it gets even worse.
How do you recommend facing the holidays to live them serenely?
Vacations are free time in which you can decide what you do. They are a time to share with people you like to be with. If you approach it like this, everything that comes will be welcome, but the person needs to think about the meaning they want to give to their vacations. If you do them because you want to post photos on Instagram, when there is a delay in a plane flight the negative view will be worse.
What is the summer stop for? When are a vacation good and enriching?
Young people experience it differently, and the more things they see, the better. It is important to be clear about the meaning you want to give to the holidays. These days you can live as you would like, you can choose: do recreational activities, or take photos and post them on Instagram. As it happens with Christmas parties, it seems that everything has to be perfect and it is not like that for everyone. Think about what you really need for vacation. Do you really want to do what you will do? You can rest, read, learn by taking a course… Run away from what everyone is expected to do, luckily there are very diverse options. If you are in a moment of exhaustion, do not put the body into another cortisol spike that creates more stress.
What role do the networks have in the emotional discomfort during the holidays?
The networks do not help. We are bombarded with messages such as “take advantage of the fact that you only live once”, “you have to live to the fullest”… And in reality, many people cannot take vacations, because they have a sick family member and they have to take care of them; because they don’t have enough money to go abroad or to rest… And seeing everything that people post on the networks, where they travel and where they go, is an added stress. Expectations influence how we live our rest time, and we must follow a digital cleansing diet, assess the different circumstances of each one…
There are people who turn vacations into a marathon of trips, activities and meetings… Is it mentally healthy?
There are people who have 15 days of vacation and take the tickets to travel the first day as soon as they finish working and they manage it well. But others do not, because perhaps if you have a lot of stress at work in recent weeks and on top of that you have to prepare your bags and travel, it is better to take it easy. It is a decision, live the day to day in a more serene way or always go against the clock. Some people love this and give more. But if you arrive on vacation with mental and physical exhaustion, perhaps it’s worth spending two days at home doing nothing, going to the restaurant for not cooking, and resting instead of going up and down with suitcases from the first day and without energy.
This article was originally published by RAC1.
