The case of the two minors murdered by their father in the Barcelona neighborhood of Horta has once again brought to the fore one of the most extreme sexist violence: vicarious violence. Marta Ariste (Barcelona, ??1983) is the lawyer for the mother of Leo, the two-year-old boy murdered by her father in August 2021 and who became the first fatal victim of vicarious violence in Catalonia. Leo was the 42nd child murdered since 2013, but with the deaths of Horta’s two brothers, the number of murdered children now exceeds fifty. In both cases, there was no prior complaint from the mother.
When you took up Leo’s cause, there were 42 children murdered by vicarious violence in Spain. There are already more than 50. Are we acting diligently?
No. Many times in family or violence against women courts we explain situations or indications that make us think that we must act: suspend visits or remove shared guardianship. We find cases in which minors explain that their father may have done some suspicious practice to them. Or the child poops on himself. Or that he has some marks on his back or that he cries because she doesn’t want to go to her father. Children whose father has torn their tracksuits so that they go to school with it torn. Things that seem everyday or small details. But in practice they are things that must be valued. The most surprising thing is that the law, both Catalan and Spanish, provides that visits can be suspended or that there is no shared custody in cases in which there is either a complaint or a criminal procedure opened against the father or even with only indications.
And what happens?
That without a complaint, nothing is suspended. But many times complaints are not filed for fear of the father’s reaction because the minor must continue to be with him and the mother is afraid of what will happen to him. Apart from institutional violence. How are women treated in court? Because many times they explain things and treat them as exaggerated.
Legally it says that custody can be stopped with evidence.
Yes. But there are two parallel worlds. The law contemplates it but in practice the internal regulations of the courts are that: without a complaint nothing is processed.
Are there exceptions and cases in which action is taken?
Very few. In some cases of a real threat by the father to take the children to another country, for example, it has been achieved that at least the visits are through a meeting point, or in some cases where there are clearer indications. You can start with controlled visits but you can reach a point of lack of control because the father can end up doing whatever he wants.
Are children sufficiently protected in separation processes?
Absolutely. There is much work to be done. They are made to go through many processes and perhaps it should be made simpler or they should declare once. Sometimes it is necessary, but other times it is not and if done with little tact. And sometimes they explain their fears in a specific environment: to a friend or a teacher. But that statement is of no use. If a girl does not explain 200 times in court that her father touched her vulva, as an example, it is not valid. Children get blocked. Sometimes the aggressor tells them that they must keep the secret or not to explain it to the mother.
Are there a lack of professionals prepared to address the situation?
Absolutely. There is a lack of sensitivity and humanity in the courts and everywhere. Finding a professional who listens to you and who notices that he is doing it and that he cares occurs in one in 10 cases. The feeling is often one of mere paperwork: it seems like it is just another file. They ask “have you reported?” and if you say no, to something else. It is a constant situation in the courts. Finding a professional who listens is exceptional when it should be the rule because you explain very delicate things and even more so when there are children involved.
Can an abuser be prevented from seeing his children?
It is very difficult. There will probably continue to be visits, even shared saves. Physical violence is easier to prove, but the problem is that in most cases it is psychological, verbal… Or a blow through the children. And if you don’t explain it, and the court doesn’t believe you, these parents continue seeing the children.
If abuse is proven, can custody be reverted?
It must be demonstrated and a complaint filed. Without that, the court’s rule is to do nothing. If the court sees that there is an indication or suspicion of any type of violence against the mother or child, what is sometimes done is a quick hearing to assess it. But all this is done quickly, without being able to prepare anything. And sometimes at that moment the victim freezes. He has a trauma and it is not easy to explain things. Maybe at that moment he can’t explain the 200 things that have happened. And then nothing happens. And you are forced to reach agreements many times, even forced agreements.
You initiated litigation so that Leo would not bear the surnames of his murderer but you denounced the legal loophole. Has the situation improved?
We couldn’t get him buried without that last name. We achieved it after the fact. But he did set a precedent. Leo died in August 2021 and in April of that same year a legislative change had been made that allowed children of murdered women to change their surnames, even as a form of protection and to be able to unlink their name from that of their murderer. But in our case there was a legal loophole, because the child had died. We had to make extraordinary requests and the change was finally achieved in May 2022 by a resolution through a Ministerial Order from the Minister of Justice at the time, Pilar Llop, which authorized the change of surnames. The law was not modified, but there is a precedent. And the change is not automatic, although I understand that now the process will be more agile.
The mother had an administrative journey.
Indeed. And it still continues. She cannot grieve calmly because she constantly receives resolutions or information. Just before Christmas he received a notification from the State that once again denied him financial aid as a direct victim. When I talk about humanizing courts I also add doing so in administrations because each resolution is not received by a robot. He is greeted by a mother who is being harmed terribly.
Have you been denied funeral expenses?
Yes. I know that the Department of Feminisms provides an allocation for future cases, but she has had to pay for her son’s funeral. And she had a few months of psychological support, but very little, real support is needed. A tracing.
Vicarious violence is an extreme form of gender violence. Are you taking the issue seriously enough?
No. And it is a kind of obligation for the entire society to be alert, to advance at the level of being alert, all organizations, citizens, from the pediatrician, from the school, teachers, psychologists, public organizations, anyone who has contact or knowledge that anything could happen. It’s the way to stop it. It is a moral obligation to be alert in the same way that certain sexist attitudes begin to be disallowed.
