There are countless problems that can affect a couple throughout a relationship, such as the lack of commitment or future goals or the succession of arguments during cohabitation, among others. There are circumstantial factors that influence the management of all these issues that can undermine our mental health. But did you know that, in a way, there are people doomed to a toxic relationship? This depends on the vision we have of our self on the ability we have to detect and reflect on the role we play in our relationships.
When looking for a partner, people tend to prioritize profiles with a character similar to ours. However, this work also involves certain psychosocial aspects that can make us more predisposed to start a relationship with toxic people. The specialist in cognitive-behavioral psychology, Tomás Santa Cecilia, collects in an article in Psychology and Mind some of the factors that can determine this decision.
Whether by own deliberation or due to an imposed condition such as living in rural areas, having a limited social life favors the appearance of dependency dynamics. A low number of interpersonal ties restricts our chances of finding a partner and makes us more vulnerable to those who seek to take advantage of our apparent conformity. On the other hand, people rooted in a socioeconomic circle marked by precariousness are more likely to end up in a harmful relationship. This is because its members have adopted toxic behaviors to maintain a certain status of respect within this unfavorable socioeconomic context.
An infallible way to attract toxic partners is the idealization of the concept of romantic love. What you should identify as a red flag, you attribute to normal behavior such as him not letting you go out with your friends because he is jealous. This perception is a magnet for authoritarian and insecure personalities. Also, if you have self-esteem problems or suffer from a psychological disorder, this can be seen by your potential partners as an opportunity to submit and adopt the role of leader within the couple.
It is also true that if you have had other toxic relationships, history is likely to repeat itself. And it is that in this case the maxim that the bad known is better than the good to be known applies. Finding a new type of partner and understanding their dynamics can be complicated or boring, behavior that will exempt you from living a healthy relationship.
