Mery Viñas (Madrid, 1980) has been accompanying thousands of women for more than ten years in accepting their body without the need to change it and living in peace without diets, restrictions, guilt or shame. This psychologist specialized in relation to food and the body knows very well what she is talking about, since she herself went through an eating disorder (ED), which encouraged her to specialize in this area.
Diet culture is such a marked and normalized trend in society that its serious consequences are often unknown. 70% of adolescents do not feel comfortable with their body and 6 out of 10 girls believe that they would be happier if they were thinner, according to the Spanish Society of General and Family Physicians.
The arrival of good weather is always accompanied by diet campaigns, and in that focus on “improving” the body, mainly that of women. Without going any further, the Dorsia cosmetic surgery clinics took over the center of Madrid a few days ago with a gigantic advertising banner promoting breast augmentation under this motto: “Another summer changing the panorama of the beaches.” The advertisement showed a photo of a woman in a bra and a large sign that read “breast augmentation from 2,795 euros.” After the outrage and pressure generated by networks, the brand decided to withdraw the advertising.
What do you think about the impact of this type of advertising on people’s self-esteem and mental health?
The message is terrible. It is this idea, on the one hand, that you have to change someone’s [women’s] physique and, on the other, we talk about a panorama, as if we were a set in the beach landscape. It is a violent message because it is constantly objectifying women. In addition, it is located in a place where girls and adolescents, an increasingly vulnerable population, can see it.
These types of messages teach us to value ourselves through the external perspective. I am especially concerned about those girls (and also adult women) who constantly strive to fit into a standard of beauty, as if they don’t deserve to enjoy the beach if they don’t have a certain body type.
What is diet mentality and how do we know if we are suffering from it?
The diet mentality is a system of beliefs around food, between what is good and what is bad, what I can eat and what I cannot, etc. Everything that revolves around what, when and how much I should eat, and that also relates to how my body should look because of what I have eaten. This mentality ends up disconnecting the person, mostly women, from what their body really needs at all times.
Can it lead to an eating disorder if it continues over time?
Diets are the gateway to EDs. Not all of them end in an eating disorder, but the vast majority start with a first diet. We have to be very careful because, sometimes, we think that we are doing it for health and we are actually doing the opposite. Diets unbalance the metabolism, add stress and, when talking about health, it is crucial to consider mental health, something that diets overlook. The only thing they generate is frustration, guilt and shame by not achieving the expected results or what we have been told we would achieve if we changed our bodies. No woman wakes up in the morning and wants to go on a diet, what she wants is to get the promise behind diets, that is, that she will be successful and she will feel socially accepted and loved.
95% of dieters regain their weight within three to five years, and two-thirds of them regain their initial weight.
There is an entire industry behind it that profits from our insecurities, especially those of women, and it is known as the industry of discontent. Women constantly receive messages about everything that is wrong with our bodies, what we could improve, and if we don’t change it, it is our fault. It is a cyclical process that feeds our insecurities so that we consume certain products ranging from shakes, pills, medications, operations or extreme diets. There is no moment in a woman’s life that is safe from these messages and at increasingly younger ages.
The industry generates insecurities and then capitalizes on them.
They are power structures that have been responsible for making us smaller. There is a very interesting book called The Myth of Beauty, by Naomi Wolf, that talks about this. Diets are the great distractor for women. As long as women are entertained with them, thinking that we always have something to “fix”, the less we will project ourselves when it comes to conquering other areas. Therefore, there is a real interest in keeping ourselves silent and busy with these trivialities. If we added the time, money, effort and dedication to all these types of thoughts and invested them in other issues, we would be unstoppable.
Being permanently on a diet or compensating and restricting foods is practically a social obligation. How do you fight these messages?
We are born with clearly identified hunger and satiety signals. A baby knows when he is hungry or not. As the years go by, we intervene, as mothers and fathers, in expressions like “eat it all” or “don’t eat it all, you’ll gain weight.” We are learning to disconnect from these signals and begin to follow orders. At first, from our parents, then from society. Therefore, instead of looking outside for “what to eat and when,” turn it around and think “what I am hungry for and how much I am hungry.” It is returning innate wisdom to the body and avoiding excessive control, as it will lead us to lack of control at some point.
How does diet culture affect our self-esteem and mental health?
Diet is not synonymous with health because if it were it would take mental health into account. As we have said, 95% of diets fail, but you don’t fail, the methods you have been told fail. Many women experience feelings of frustration and guilt, and try to try other diets that are not going to be definitive either. There are even women who stop doing certain related activities such as going to the beach to hide their bodies. Many mothers also tell me that they regret not having taken photos with their children during the first years after giving birth.
There are people who turn to food when faced with difficult situations. Should we prevent emotional hunger from taking over us?
Starting from the fact that we are human beings, we cannot eat only when we are hungry. The relationship you have with food is always giving you information about how you are. If you are having a binge it is because, at that moment, you have no other resource to manage that emotion. Give yourself permission and, the next day, say, “Hey, what emotion were you feeling yesterday?” It may be that you need to feel the sadness you are avoiding or that you need to rest. Also that you feel alone and perhaps you need to relate, or whatever is necessary, but you must approach it from another perspective. We need more resources and food, sometimes, is the only thing we have. The important thing is not to feel guilty when we turn to emotional hunger, do it consciously and then analyze what happened.
Does having a fat body really imply greater risk factors for our health?
There are risk factors, yes, but in science correlation is not causation and not all people with fat bodies are going to have a heart attack. Just as there are thin bodies and athletes who do have them. Many times we do not take into account the stigma that fat people suffer. Specifically, in the medical community they receive errors or bad diagnoses just for coming in for a consultation. There are patients who tell me: “I went to have my otitis checked and as soon as I entered they told me that I had to lose weight.” Would a thin person who had come for the same reason have been told the same thing? Health is measured under many parameters and they must all be considered.
Weight is not synonymous with health. We have to see what health is for each one, not only on a physical level but also emotionally, and adapt it to each body. We are told to eat fruits and vegetables, but not everyone has the privilege of accessing them every day. It is necessary to change many things in the system, starting with incorporating nutritionists into Social Security. Not to mention the need for mental health specialists and the shortage of psychologists. There are many difficulties, but the message is always the same: “How bad you are doing, if you are like this it is your fault.”
Let’s talk about social networks. Can they act as a trigger or be a risk factor for developing an ED?
Completely. Years ago, you didn’t have constant exposure to the models of the moment, but now you have it 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I’ll give you an example. A few weeks ago an influencer publicly denounced another who said: “How to lose X kilos in two months? Write the word ‘challenge’ and I’ll tell you how.” The publication was filled with comments, including one from a girl who said: “I’m 13 years old, can I access the challenge?” And another 9 who also wanted to do “the challenge.” They don’t realize the damage they do. Networks are the prelude to ATTs and there are not enough regulatory measures.
But, we keep getting that successful people are white, thin people.
We have to take the reins. If we have to wait for the system to change and they put a person with a fat and racialized body on television… When you walk down the street or watch TV, you can’t choose which bodies to see, but on social networks you can. We also have to start looking for body diversity, which there is. The one that you get used to and “clean up” other types of accounts, is no longer so strange. In the end, if we observe other types of bodies on the street out of curiosity, you realize all the diversity. If my scanner is only looking for thin ones to compare with mine I’m only going to see that. You get used to beauty, but you also get used to variety, and right now we have to look for it.
Cosmetic surgeries increased by 215% from 2013 to 2021, without evaluating the mental health status of the patients. 85% are women. What do you think is the reason for this exponential increase?
I can’t tell you as a psychologist because I haven’t investigated it, but my intuition tells me that it has a lot to do with exposure to networks. Every day you see cases of women who undergo cosmetic operations, as if they were anything. “I recovered in two weeks and it didn’t hurt at all,” they say. The publication is filled with comments about “how it was and how much it cost.” The reality is that many have had free surgery, in exchange for advertising from the aesthetic center, and they are telling you about it without explaining, obviously, the risks. In one click you can search for someone who has had surgery, how can it not increase if access is so easy? These operations have always been done, but now they are much more accessible.
On the other hand, a psychologist should evaluate the patient’s mental health status before undergoing these operations. Just like patients who go to a nutritionist, they should be evaluated by psychologists. Many women undergo surgery and continue to have the same basic problem, and live permanently “hooked” on wanting to modify parts of their body.
The average age for this type of services has gone from 35 to 20 years, according to the Spanish Society of Aesthetic Medicine (SEME).
Before you went with a photo and said “I want to look like this person”, now they go with the phone, showing their face with a filter.
Why shouldn’t we give opinions about other people’s bodies?
Bodies are neither given opinions nor commented on because you don’t know what happens to each person. There is a phrase that I love: “We see bodies, but we don’t know stories.” You don’t know if that person is thin because they suffer from depression or anxiety, a family member has died, or because they are sick. Furthermore, that person will think that if she later gains weight she will no longer be pretty and, therefore, she will no longer receive those “compliments.” Or when they tell you: “Wow, you look so pretty! Have you lost weight?” You receive the message that you weren’t fat before and that if you get fat again you won’t be fat either. I always say that if you want to be really interested in the person, you ask them “how is she” and don’t say “you have lost weight.” If you really want to praise him, say something else: “Hey, I see you have a lot of energy, what’s going on in your life?”
What do you advise saying when someone gives their opinion about your body? Do you ignore it and resign yourself? Do you respond in a pedagogical way? Do you answer in a bad way?
These are the three ways to respond: passive, aggressive or assertive. It all depends on how you are. We do not always have the energy to respond in a pedagogical way because we have enough of our internal problems. But it is true that we must protect ourselves. Maybe not that moment, but it depends on the trust and relationship you have with that person, yes, say: “The other day you commented about my body, but it didn’t sit well with me” or “I’m trying to avoid these types of comments, it’s better that we talk.” of other things.” It is uncomfortable, but we must protect ourselves and set limits, and perhaps this way you will also sow the seed of reflection in the other person. We have been talking about other people’s bodies since we were little and you end up realizing that it is normal. But it is scandalous that it continues to happen.
Thinness is encouraged, but they will never tell you to your face that you have gained weight, no matter how healthy you are. There are content creators who fight against fatphobia like Mara Jiménez, known as @croquetamente on networks, who receives death threats for being fat. They have even told her that because of her the rest of the world has to pay her social security. So, you ask yourself: “They don’t want us healthy, they want us sick. The only thing they worry about is that people are thin.”
A positive message in the face of so much fatphobia and aesthetic pressure.
We can do everything we deserve, and let these day-to-day obsessions not be an impediment to living the life we ??want. In the end, our bodies are vehicles that allow us to enjoy everything we do every day. It is also not about loving your body 100% and liking everything about it. We don’t aspire to that. It is understanding that you are in that process, that there are parts of your body that you don’t like, but that that is not an obstacle to living the life that you deserve. Accepting your body is work, but it can be achieved. Therefore, I want to remember that no one is born hating their body, so they will learn to love it again.