Living through a grieving process is never easy. But there are times when it becomes much more difficult. “There are times of the year and special dates in which the pain of loss is accentuated. Summer is one of them”, highlights Lola Cabrera, a psychologist specializing in grief who collaborates with Mémora –the first group of funeral services in Spain and Portugal– in grief groups for families. Summer is the time of year associated with vacations, free time, leisure, parties, rest, joy, travel, family, friends… “Many mourners state that they remember past experiences of other summers shared with their loved one that they will no longer be able to repeat itself”, points out the expert.
During the grieving process, the affected person experiences different emotions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, etc. The brain, especially the limbic system, is the one that processes these emotions and is in charge of regulating them, since it always tends towards balance. However, the emotions triggered by the loss of a loved one are experienced so intensely and are so out of control that they manage to destabilize the person who has suffered the loss. “A time of readjustment is necessary until balance is reached. That is why many people describe the grieving process as a roller coaster of emotions, where there are ups and downs,” adds the psychologist.
Grief is an adjustment process that follows a significant loss. “It is a natural, adaptive process. However, it is considered a highly stressful life event that affects a psychological, biological and social level. Not all people face it starting from the same conditions or having the same resources, internal and external. external,” says Cabrera.
In some cases, the process can become complicated, preventing proper functioning in daily life, and having an impact on the emotional and physical health of the person, so it is necessary to seek specialized help. “A pessimistic personality, an avoidant style when facing difficulties, a traumatic and unexpected death, the death of a child or the lack of support from the environment, are some of the factors that can complicate the process. In addition, not Managing the grieving process well can end up aggravating some illnesses that we already suffered from or generating new symptoms such as post-traumatic stress, depression or anxiety,” the expert points out.
In many cases the accompaniment of the environment may be enough; in others, more resources are needed, such as participation in support groups that can help share, normalize, and validate emotions.
Aware of the situation that families are experiencing, Mémora’s purpose is to accompany them throughout the process, not only during the funeral service, but also later during the mourning process. With this premise, with the collaboration of Fundación Salud y Persona, she offers a bereavement support program free of charge to all the relatives of a funeral service attended by Mémora.
Within this program, the grief support groups stand out, which, moderated by specialized psychologists such as Lola Cabrera, facilitate meetings between people who have suffered a recent loss and who need to share it to facilitate the process. In addition, it has a group of psychologists specialized in grief who offer telephone assistance 24 hours a day, 365 days a year who need professional attention.
Accompaniment is also carried out through the web community “Your network support”. This portal allows families to access a wider range of support resources, including guides, documents, audiovisuals, specialized articles, and book and movie recommendations. In this reserved space it is possible to participate in an online help forum, or open a direct guidance thread supervised by a specialized professional.
Many times family and friends wonder how they can help the person who is grieving the loss of a loved one. “I think the best way to do it is to show availability, respecting the spaces and times of the other. Accompanying is a word that I really like because it means keeping company, being by someone’s side; that is, without pushing them and not losing sight of them either. view. So I would say that, fundamentally, the environment has to be available, accompanying, listening, respecting and not judging”, concludes the psychologist.
