I owe my life to the Pareto principle; It has helped me understand what I should do in moments of great complexity.
Vilfredo Pareto would be proud.
That statistical law according to which 20% of the actions determine 80% of the results is applicable to everything: 20% of the population of a country owns 80% of the wealth; 80% of the time we wear 20% of our clothes, 80% of my happiness depends on 20% of the people I deal with and the situations I find myself in.
Does it also work in negative?
Yes, 80% of your stress comes from 20% of the situations you experience. When you identify which 20% is causing 80% of bad results, you can focus on changing that 20%.
What happened to you to adore Vilfredo?
I worked a lot and got few results, so I asked myself what were the actions that generated 80% of my clientele and I realized that I had it thanks to a video that I posted on YouTube one day a month; I decided to do one a day, and I improved a lot.
You have to identify the action that changes the game.
And create habits to enhance it. We are the result of our habits of thinking, work, relationships, eating… There is a part that depends on luck, but the rest depends on how we interpret what happens and how we relate to it.
Define habits.
Behaviors or thoughts that arise from small gestures that, when repeated, become a habit. The habit of being pessimistic or optimistic, of brushing your teeth or not, of saving or wasting; Most of what we do we do without thinking because it is part of our character.
On December 31st, everything is good resolutions.
I like that on the 31st we all start dreaming, because this brings us closer to the best version of ourselves.
On February 1 we have already abandoned.
Dreaming is good because it gives us direction, but to achieve results we must direct it. Many people say: “A year from now I want to lose weight,” and most of them after a year weigh more than they did 12 months before.
And why is this so frustrating?
Because we don’t program the change. If I want to improve my relationship with my son, I have to study the situation and create new positive habits, like planning something fun one day a week to do with him. You don’t have to wonder what the next 12 months will be like, but rather what you will be like.
What do you suggest?
If you want to change, change the habits that accompany you day by day. If not, next year will be like this one, like the previous one and like four years ago, there will be a war, someone important will die, there will be new technologies, it will be cold, it will be hot…
Will the difference be in me?
Yes, in how you deal with what happens: will you be better at managing emotions? Will you have better habits for dealing with problems?
Why can’t we change?
Often the problem depends on one’s own values. When you set a goal consistent with your values, you have much more energy to maintain the change. Other times we want to change things quickly, and it is easier to do it little by little. And remember that it is very difficult to quit smoking if you are around smokers.
A common and very elusive purpose is to exercise.
We can ask ourselves how exercising helps me stay consistent with my values. For example, I do pilates and paddle tennis once a week.
And what does it have to do with values?
Being fit allows me to play with my children without back pain, an asset for me. Another mechanism is that of ideas: different ideas lead us to different actions.
Give me an example, please.
If I have the idea that exercise exhausts me and that watching Netflix on the couch relaxes me, I will choose Netflix. But I do think that exercising gives me energy and that sitting around watching Netflix is ??a waste of time…
I understand.
We can also work with behavior, for example reducing the habit we want to implement to 1%. Don’t start with 40 push-ups, start with one. The mathematics of habits says that one flexion is better than zero, and after a while two and then three…, and don’t force yourself.
The difficult thing is to maintain a habit.
Every action you take or stop taking is a step for or against your future. If you’re not changing it, you’re accepting it.
What do we do with frustration?
Treat her with kindness. What makes the difference is not failing, but trying again.
