It all started with a faint meow that came from under Dani Mateo’s car (Granollers, 1979). It was June 2017 and Dani was visiting his parents’ house, in La Torreta (La Roca del Vallés). Clear! Hearing a noise, and very carefully, he approached to see what was there… she was a little kitten! She gave him food, put a blanket on him and said: “If tomorrow morning she is still here, I will take her to live with me, in Madrid.” In this way, our first protagonist today, Dakota, came into his life.
I say “first” because, in reality, today we have two!
A few months later, Sarah Lynn came into their lives, with the goal of not only increasing the family, but also keeping her cat sister company.
To all this, let me tell you something about Dani. He is a journalist, comedian, television and radio presenter… Let’s see, he is well-known (and you know it)… You have seen and heard him in Noche sin trugua, La familia Mata, I know what you did, Go ahead !, Yu don’t miss anything, Periodistas Fútbol Club, El Club de la Comedia or El Intermedio, among other productions. Ah! He has also written a book and has won an Ondas, but, as I said before, the “protas” here are them.
Dakota, Sarah Lynn, Dani…
How are you? (laughs)
I’m good! They, I can’t tell you, you never know. Look Edu, I who had always had dogs, I have realized since I have cats that I share a flat with them! A dog is like a child, while cats are roommates and must be treated with that respect. Careful! It is one thing to be loved and another very different thing to lose your manners. (we laugh)
Dani… What led you to say that if the cat was there the next morning, she would come with you?
Ah, well… Damn, now I feel bad because, of course, my mother is going to read this… but hey, I have to tell it because it’s very funny and it also talks about how our relationship with animals has changed over the years. Think that I was a child in the 80s and you, Edu, too. My grandfather had a farm and I lived, let’s say, the world of leashed dogs.
These words “The World of Tied Dogs”, which could perfectly be the title of a book focused on an anachronistic universe, immediately bring that image back to my mind. It’s not my imagination, it’s my memory.
I mean, it was very rare to see a dog loose in a house. Usually, he was tied to a chain or in his doghouse, something that has almost disappeared. The doghouse has disappeared and, of course, doghouse entrepreneurs are experiencing a very difficult time because the treatment of animals is very different. Well, all this is to justify the phrase that my mother told me… “Leave that cat, because she will already be there fine, with her little friends, in the container, and now you are going to take her and the poor thing is going to be worse. Everything so that you can take her home…”
At this point his voice shakes and so do I because you can imagine the scene…
(Continue) A poor cat was… look, one eye here, the other here behind, she only had one stiff, wet ear left, she was like a gremlin! When I shined the flashlight on her, she was hot, just like the Critters! Do you remember that movie? It didn’t invite you to pick it up at all… (Monster noises)
Here our voices no longer tremble… we burst out laughing.
The next morning, did you think I would be there?
Well, I was clear that she had not escaped from any house, unless it was the house from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, because the cat was… Furthermore, it was very bad for me to have a cat at that time because, on top of that, I was in the middle of moving. She was also there, at my parents’ house, so I would have to take her on the plane… it was such a mess. For a moment, I was about to agree with my mother that, with her little friends from the container, she was going to be very happy too, but in the end, she stayed and, well… She said, “no, no, from here I do not move”.
As a child, you had lived with dogs… What was it like this first time with cats?
I discovered the world of cats and now I am in love. It is true that they give you a very different love than dogs, but they also give you a lot. Sometimes, they have this reputation that I jokingly told you before, that they are your roommates, which is not true, because in reality, they are your owners, your landlords! You are the tenant and you had better pay the monthly payment on time…
I see! I can perfectly imagine Dakota and Sarah Lynn acting as Dani’s “landlords”, asking her to be punctual with her rent, making sure that she keeps the house in good condition, that she doesn’t make excessive noise or that she doesn’t have parties until the wee hours of the morning… The figure of the “landlord” of a lifetime…
(Dani continues)
Clearly, they are the owners. Having a dog is like being with a little wolf, and having a cat is like being with a little tiger. That is, for a dog, you are like its leader. Not for the cat, for the cat you are his responsibility and a bit of a burden. The cat teaches you. Also, when he hunts something, he brings it to you as if to say… “See, useless? That’s how it’s done!”, and leaves, leaving you a dead lizard. Of course… you look like… “But could it be…? The mother who gave birth to her!” But they make a lot of company. They are very affectionate.
Not content with one, soon after, you adopted Sarah Lynn…
But that’s because Dakota was hyperactive. I mean, Dakota was the same gremlin I found under the car, but washed. All day on top of you!… she scratched, climbed, jumped from side to side. He was wild! I talked to the vet and he told me to find another one to play with. Then Sarah Lynn arrived, from Moratalaz. We saw in Mil Ads that they were giving away kittens and we went to get her. Once at home, we saw that they are different “people”, which is a very “polite” way of saying “Damn, how badly they get along!”.
It’s like putting Tamara Falcó together with Dakota Tárraga, from Big Brother. Imagine them living together in an apartment and there you will have the relationship between my cats.
Some of Dani’s most characteristic features are her voice and, of course, her sense of humor. Combined with a phrase that includes the names of Tamara Falcó and Dakota Tárraga, the result is that we have to stop the conversation for a minute until we stop laughing…
At home it’s Dakota, Sarah Lynn, Yasmina and yourself. Two things can happen here: either you are the most spoiled or you are directly at a disadvantage. What point are we at?
I say yes to everything. I say yes to everything and when they laugh, I laugh.
In reality, they are our girls and we just need to get together with other parents in the neighborhood to talk about their problems, etc. Now they are of turkey age and, in addition to being a topic of conversation at home, it is very fun, and a recurring joke, to talk about them as if they were two teenage daughters that we have. We made up stories like… “Holy shit, Dakota has been seen with some cats from the neighborhood, oh my god! And, what’s worse, she came looking for one on a motorcycle!” or “Dakota told me she wants to get a piercing!” Dakota, to give you an idea of ??her personality, we say that she smokes “Fortuna 23”, the box of 23, specifically. Furthermore, when she meows, she has a voice like that of Chelo García Cortés or Carmen Borrego…so having hit the “cigar” hard.
We create a world around them…
On the other hand, Sarah Lynn is totally different from Dakota… She meets up for tea at a new muffin cafe that just opened, she’s an ‘influencer’… In reality, it’s normal for them to get along badly. .. One is a dog who looks at her sister like “look at this slut, I can’t handle her”, while the other is “Please, there’s this tacky thing again, look how it goes, you can’t get out that way.” From home…”
Sometimes they look at each other, separate and smack each other, just because. The vet told us that they need their space and that we separate their food and water… Do you know what they do now? I give them the food in separate bowls and they both go to eat from the same one and, when that one is gone, they go for the other one. Can you understand it? It’s impossible to know how cats’ fucking heads work.
By the way… Why Dakota and Sarah Lynn?
Dakota is by Dakota Tárraga. That Big Brother from Dakota Tárraga seems to me to be a peak moment of humor… “You owe me 27 plus 3 are… 31 euros”… “You give me the money eh!!” At first her name was Rossy, which was given to her by my mother because she was there among the rose bushes, and also by Rossy de Palma, because she had that strange and particular beauty. But, after a little while, we saw that she was like Dakota Tárraga.
The other is called Sarah Lynn because of a series that seems brutal to me, which is Bojack Horseman, the character of the girl who later gets into trouble because she spends all day partying, all day on her cell phone, and ends up involved in drugs and such…Sarah Lynn is a bit like Lindsay Lohan.
The truth is that all of this, in the relationship between Yaz and me, is part of our universe. You inevitably turn cats into people. Curiously, it links quite a bit with the Bojack Horseman series, in which the characters are half people, half animals. They are your family, they have their personality and the funny thing is that, sometimes, they confirm what we think about them!… One who never stops going out, the other who only wants to be with her friends, never wants to come see us and, when they do, it’s just around the neighborhood… They are very funny.
In what way do you complement the human part of the family? What part do you make them do?
Look, they would tell you, “how?”, “What do they make us do…?” “But what world do you live in, Edu?” “They make us do what?” like “Sorry, sorry, I heard you right.” No, no, they don’t do anything. We can’t make them do anything. We are those suffering parents at home. As in 1, 2, 3. I would like them not to decide to walk around my kitchen counter for an entire morning, but let’s see how you explain it… With a dog there is a certain dialogue, but with a cat… There is no possible dialogue. It’s surrender! I was reading the interview you did with Irene Visedo in which she said that “having a dog is like being at her service”, and I thought, “well, wait until you have a cat”… That’s it… There is no way to put them in any order or concert. They do what they want. There is no negotiation.
We were talking, the other day, with Pepe Viyuela, who also has cats, about the amount of things we have to learn from animals… For you… What is the main lesson they have given you?
Yes, a very cool one, which is being present. That’s amazing, because it’s… Well, this is my “herbal” side… That thing we say, sometimes, that we run through the jungle of the mind instead of resting in the peace of being… Cats are a living being that enjoy being alive and they do so in the present, in the now, all the time. It doesn’t evade. It is an impressive anchoring point, for me, to have a pet. Sometimes, when you lose your mind and you get anxious, getting lost in the problems we create for ourselves on a daily basis, in what should have been and in what will be, which are two things that are beyond our control… one because It happened, and you can’t change it, and the other one because we don’t know it… Suddenly the cat arrives and notices it!
It’s also scary, Edu… I tend to get anxious, to get anxious just because and they notice it. Dakota notices it but looks at me with contempt as if to say “This asshole is done with his shit” but Sarah Lynn, who has a radar, comes and puts her head in my beard, rubbing like “calm down, get off, get off.” Just with that purr, I land back in reality and say to myself “Where had I gone?” This, a pet, be it a dog, cat or fish, will give it to you. Are you distressed? Go see cows and look at her eyes. A cow simply enjoys eating grass and being there, because now she is there and then she won’t be there. No problem. It’s what life is.
Dani… it’s great to show love for our animal family, but just like with the human family, there are times when one would like to isolate themselves on a desert planet so as not to lose their cool… What’s the time? What else has messed you up?
Of course, I live in the mountains, I have a house and I cannot keep them locked up, nor can I nor do I want to. Dakota hardly goes out anymore because I think that, since the poor thing had such a bad time, she already knows what’s out there. If the food is here, I have my blanket, I have the sofa, I have this one, and this one, who bring me whatever I want when I ask for it, well it’s phenomenal, you know? She smokes her cigars in the window, she’s 23 years old and she’s great. Sarah Lynn is on the go all day. More or less we know that she moves in a very small radius. On our street we call it Wisteria Lane, and little else. Since there are no cars, she climbs the tree, comes down, goes to the neighbor’s house… When night comes, we call them and we have to tell them the name of the candy we give them so they can come… “Dako , Sarah Lynn… Sweetheart!” Dako appears immediately, but Sarah Lynn makes you suffer… Sometimes you even see her and she is hard to pray for. It’s like she’s studying us, like “I’m not going to… see what they do…”, and she enjoys making us suffer.
We laugh because we see clearly who is in control…
Yasmina says that Dakota, if she doesn’t receive her food on time, attacks her, but it’s different with you… Why do you think that happens?
No, it doesn’t attack me. He has Yaz under his control, and it’s something we talk about a lot in therapy. It’s just that he is Big Brother! … “He is taking advantage of you”, “You don’t know how to impose yourself” … (laughs)
What are you all talking about?
I don’t talk to cats, I don’t need to… Before we used to joke that you never know what a cat is thinking about, but in reality, they are happy. They do not think. If you analyze it, when he starts to think, it’s because he’s not very happy. Because, if you are, you don’t need to think! That’s how they are, they simply live and make their lives. I already know what they want to do and when. I have clearly learned to read the signs because Dakota cannot make them clearer to you. You can approach her, in a loving way, and she will turn around and turn her back completely. The sign reads itself… They have very expressive looks, because they are felines, they are like tigers. I am more like someone who lives with tigers or panthers than someone who lives with a dog because they are very wild. They have their routines, Sarah Lynn has her photos for Insta, her direct ones on TikTok, and I have mine, although the “tempo” is set more by them than by me.
What do you usually play?
He thinks about it and laughs.
With Sarah Lynn we do have everything. We have the stick with the feather for him to chase, also another ball with a bell and feathers, which you throw at him and he plays and such. You throw Dakota, on the other hand, he sees her pass by and looks at you as if to say… “What are you doing?”… “At this point in the movie are you going to throw me a ball?”… You even have to apologize! so I go and get it myself. “Sorry, sorry. I have made a mistake”. Then she goes and, yes, she picks up the ball by herself and starts playing or, for example, at two in the morning, she starts running from side to side of the house, at full speed, banging, with her tail. swollen… Man, that’s scary! Then, when she finishes, she smokes her Fortuna 23.
Complete family vacation?
No, we don’t do many. It’s impossible. With a dog it is different, because the dog even enjoys it, but for the cat, as I told you, the house is its own. We are the ones who leave and then come back. We are part of a group of dedicated parents who, what we do do, is take care of each other’s cats when they are gone. It’s not like they need much… Cats, as long as you don’t bother them and they have their space, their food, their water and their stuff, they even get a break from you! I think they should get together in the afternoons and say “what peace, since my humans are gone”… “Whose house are we meeting?”… “Come to dinner because my humans are not here today.”
If I took them on vacation, I would do it more for myself than for them, so I prefer that they rest. To the people who are reading us I would say “study very well what your type of life is and what your routines are before choosing a pet” because, for each person, there may be a suitable pet. For me, for example, I have many performances on the weekend and I don’t know when I’ll be there, because a cat is much more suitable for me than a dog. Having a large dog is not the same as having a small one… All these things must be taken into account because the animal abandonment figures are truly outrageous. This should not be allowed because it is a source of huge problems. It’s not just because of what they suffer… The fact that there are animals loose out there, starving, untreated, uncared for is a problem for everyone and is our responsibility that is easy to remedy. We must demand from the administrations, or whoever, that there be control of the animals that are born. Just as the births of people are controlled, so are those of animals.
Dani, I said it at the beginning… you are a public figure, well-known, used to being told, whether true or not, how well you do it but… When you are alone at home, with her, they are not going to tell you make so much the thread… Who are you?
The good thing is that I’m pretty much the same. I mean, I’m not myself in situations of social stress, especially. I’ll tell you, Edu. On a set I am a much more expansive version of myself. I am an “outward” self, very calm and I feel safe. At home, I feel safe. Where I don’t feel so good is when I’m not in one of those places. With people you know but not much, in spaces you don’t know either, in social situations… I usually completely avoid events, red carpets… I handle myself very poorly in those environments. There I really don’t know who I am. Know?
Are you comfortable now or not?
Now yes, because you have come to my house. Also, in situations like this, one on one, I feel very good. I think that, like many of us who dedicate ourselves to this, we are a bit inversely shy.
How has your life changed since you arrived?
I think it’s better, yes. I have company, I have two friends who love me, who take care of me, whom I love and care for, and with whom we have formed a very cool family. Besides, they give me little trouble, to be honest. For teenagers, they give me very few dislikes…
I read in an interview you gave (why this talk was given by Dakota and Sarah Lynn) that your house is designed in a way that favors the circulation of the two of them…
In fact, permission for this talk was given to me by them. Yes, yes, my house is a cat’s dream. It has two floors, the living room, a staircase that goes around the entire house, there are a lot of shelves… it’s like a big cat house. Of course, they do whatever they want and move around the rooms, go up and down, go out to the garden, go around the neighborhood… It’s a cat utopia.
Dani… What do they know about you that no one else knows?
They know everything. They know everything and it worries me because, Sarah Lynn doesn’t, but I think that Dako, at a given moment, could use it to blackmail me…
What was the time you were most scared, in relation to them?
Yes. That’s when I neutered them. Sarah Lynn took it very well, but I felt very sorry for Dako and had a terrible time because it was like taking away something very special from him. She is a very wild cat and that was like ripping out part of her soul. Of course, she gave us a terrible time and I had a very bad time because she was missing for a week inside the house, hiding. We don’t know where, but we could hear her, so we were calm, but she didn’t even eat. She was shocking, then she came out and forgave us, but she did it “that way.” She felt as if we had ripped her femininity away from her. How hard she was.
Oh, by the way, I’m told you’re Sarah Lynn’s favorite…
Yes, but because my girl makes her very nervous. You can’t harass cats and sometimes Jazz gets into outbursts of love. She’s like that girl who appeared in Looney Tunes and who hugged cats so hard that their eyes popped out of their sockets from loving them so much, well that’s Jazz. Sometimes she stresses them out by loving them so much. Jazz has never had dogs but she would be happy with a Labrador. They would be like this all day, hugging and rolling on the floor.
It is said that there is no two without three…
Damn, I don’t know. Three seems excessive to me. I haven’t shown you, but these pants are full of hair and so is this sweatshirt. I only took them off because we had to see each other. They, even if they have the best bed in the world, the best blanket, etc., are going to go to your fucking shirt, the one you like the most and, furthermore, they are going to know which one gives the worst hair to lie on. , precisely, and not in another.
This is common to all species… Complete the sentence: The time I screwed up with them was…
Castrate them, without a doubt. The thing is that we did it out of responsibility and the vet practically forced me to neuter them when we found them.
In relation to them… What is it that you will never forget?
The night I found Dakota, without a doubt. Also the next morning, when she was still there.
Are you happy?
A lot a lot a lot. The thing is that you would have to ask them… I can speak for myself.
Dani… Tell me your secret… Something that is only between Dakota, Sarah Lynn and you…
Damn, that’s a good one, huh?… The secret between the three of us is that, sometimes, Jazz makes us very nervous…
Have you ever had the feeling of meeting someone who, after a short time, is as if they were a lifelong friend? That feeling is what I get after sharing with them, and him, all this time. The truth is that we stayed much longer talking about professional experiences, hobbies and we decided to meet again for lunch or dinner and pick up the conversation where we left off, but well… That’s another story.
