When there is a small commotion in a hotel, the person in charge often shows up with an almost standard word: “Gentleman, what’s going on?”. Whatever his condition – whether he wears a sweatshirt or a diplomatic striped suit – the disaffected man will receive this vocative. There are those who temper their manners and lower their voices when they receive the aforementioned treatment. Interestingly, if it’s a woman who builds the sideral, she won’t be met with a “lady, what’s going on?” because, as women began to normalize the judge’s gown or the cardiologist’s stethoscope and societies became more egalitarian, the arrow of time erased the term suddenly, since, as a young lady, you were referred to Jane Austen’s novels.
In The Great Gatsby, Scott Fitzgerald puts into the mouth of the father of the protagonist a series of advice to be a true gentleman – by the way, in English it is not as uncomfortable as a gentleman -, and encourages him not to judge others, since he ignores what the circumstances are. A chivalry that lies in a certain delicacy of spirit and includes nobility, discretion, prudence and, of course, a desire for detail.
A very different postcard from our contemporary scene inhabited by characters who shout and insult, impose their opinion, become emboldened in front of the most vulnerable and lose respect for everything that is not of their color. A gentleman should not complain about trifles, but be high-minded, treat others as he would like to be treated, be they men or women. Chivalry should not have sex, there were also brave and fair knights who are paid in the sorority today: are we not brothers of the human condition?
Of course it is compatible to be a feminist and allow a door to be opened for you. We do it too, you have to read the moment. The Jesuit historian Miquel Batllori solved this dilemma for me: I was very young, he walked with a cane, and after interviewing him I gave way to him in the elevator. He refused and said to me: “Look, young man, men can lose faith, but never gallantry”.
From the process of dissolving the gender binary, one of the most controversial ontological situations of this century, a new way of naming – and experiencing – sexual identity emerged. The knights were relegated, as Google reports, associating the term with Arturo Fernández and Carlos Larrañaga. Western culture transformed that knight errant into a kind of engulfed donjoan, eroding the original meaning, which the humanist Ramon Llull argued in the Book of the Order of Chivalry: “Since just as the ax has been made to destroy the trees, the knight has his office in destroying the wicked”. Yes, those who today slander and spread crazy rumors to harm their neighbor.
I read in an American blog the recommendations of a professor of social sciences to be “a gentleman in the 21st century”, and in one of his pearls he states: “Offer to help any woman. Consider tasks she struggles to complete on her own, such as lifting heavy furniture. Women who are independent may not ask for your help, but that doesn’t mean they don’t accept and appreciate it.” He also indicates that it is necessary to open the door “not only to the attractive ones, otherwise you are not a gentleman, but a player”. Chivalry no longer means an alliance between men so that they continue to see us as others, but a pact of honesty between those who choose the side of the pavement where the sun shines.
