With his voice and his guitar he dazzled the public in the 60s and 70s. Joan Báez, pioneer of the protest song, was a great star and continues to be at 81 years old. An age to look back and take stock of a life on stage. The artist, who is in top form, stars in I am a noise, a documentary directed by Miri Navasky, Maeve O’Boyle and Karen O’Connor, which premieres at the BCN Film Fest and will not go unnoticed. Báez reveals in the film that when she was a child she was a victim of sexual abuse by her father. The singer has lived with the sadness that this situation caused her, but she has also had a full existence thanks to her music, her drawings, her social activism and a son whom she adores. In this interview with La Vanguardia, Báez reviews the hardest and sweetest moments without avoiding thorny issues.
When I was young I suffered from anxiety attacks. What were those attacks like?
Anxiety came out of nowhere and that caused me instability. My stomach hurt and I felt dizzy, but most of all, I was scared. I wanted to lie down on the floor, cover myself with a blanket and get over it and start my life again the next day. It was very severe.
Were those attacks a brake on your life?
I led a full life. Travel to many places. I sang a million songs. I had fun and met a lot of people. I had a life and, little by little, the anxiety attacks decreased, but only when I did deep work did I manage to get rid of that pain. Not completely, but quite a bit.
You are a cartoonist. Did painting help you overcome anxiety?
Yes. I started drawing when I was five years old. Those little drawings were important to me. They became my family.
When did you start therapy and how did it go?
Since I was 16, I received help from therapists. That made my life possible. But when I switched to another type of treatment, to hypnosis already at 50 years old, as shown in the film, it was different. You go in there and no matter what happens, no matter how, no matter how hard it is, you keep going. It was very painful, terrifying.
And did you discover that you were a victim of abuse by your father?
Yeah
Is it better now?
Yes. I’m fine now.
Why did you decide to tell this experience so much later in the documentary?
Because I wanted to leave something of myself and I wanted it to be honest. I am 81 years old. That was my life. I think it’s important for people to see it. Maybe someone will discover something from their past that they couldn’t see before like it happened to me and it will help them with their own traumas. After watching the film, many people thanked me.
Your sister Mimi went through the same situation. Did you talk to her about the abuse?
Yes, we talk. We were very careful not to go into details, so as not to confuse our experiences. Although it turned out that what we had experienced was very similar.
In the documentary you explain many other things. Tell me what your relationship with Bob Dylan was like? Have you spoken to him again?
I haven’t spoken to Bob in decades. He broke my heart, but now it doesn’t matter. I was painting his portrait of him when he was very young, I put on his music and started crying. And what was left after the tears was simply gratitude for having come into my life, gratitude for that music, gratitude for our time together. And that was like a nice little miracle. There is nothing negative anymore.
James Mangold is filming a Dylan biopic starring Timothée Chalamet. Do you know who will play Joan Báez?
I don’t remember her name, but I offered to talk to her and we chatted on the phone the other day. This actress is in a difficult position because it is not easy to be me. We talked about it and I said some things to her to make her laugh and then I explained to her what I felt when she was 18 or 19 years old.
Activism was one of the most important things in his life…
It was very natural for me. How to sing. Activism was in my life from a very early age. The documentary shows the bad side of my father, but he also had a good side, social activism, which he instilled in us from a young age. He taught us to fight for people who didn’t have the same things as us. And the most important thing is that my father, being a Quaker, showed us that you can’t kill anyone. You can let yourself be killed in a war, but you can’t kill. In my youth, saying ‘I refuse to kill’ was something strange to many people. Now there are still those who think like that, the right, the far right, Trump… people and movements that have no connection with kindness, compassion and empathy. Through activism we must remind people who they are, that there is love, forgiveness, compassion and empathy, even beyond Trump. People look to the United States for democracy, but now there is a rise of fascism and even a risk of falling into a dictatorship.
In the film he is seen on tour at 80 years old. Are you still offering concerts?
No. Not anymore. It was 60 years. It’s enough. Tours and concerts are over. From time to time I sing in public, very rarely, because it takes a lot to prepare to sing. When you get older, your vocal cords no longer do what you want them to do. I still have an interesting voice, but it’s nothing like the one people associate with me.
Have you forgiven your father for what happened in your childhood?
If we do not forgive, we do not progress nor can we achieve fulfillment. Yes, I have forgiven everything. There was no other choice and, honestly, it has been nice to be able to do it.
