Both those who have incipient relationships and those who have been dating or living together for a long time, sooner or later they tend to be surprised by this uncomfortable question: am I really with the right person? Although many are not able to verbalize it, as couples tutor Kira Asatryan explains in an article for Psychology Today, happy and committed couples are defined by a high level of satisfaction. That is, relationships that work would be those in which each member receives from the other what he or she needs.
Before answering this question, the author of Stop Feeling Alone: ??Three Simple Steps to Develop Close Friendships and Deep Relationships, lists four other questions we should ask ourselves to know if we are really with the right person.
To start, you should evaluate how satisfied you feel with your partner. Asatryan recommends evaluating the different aspects of the relationship separately, such as sex, communication, emotional intimacy or any other aspect that is important to you. If this evaluation is positive, it is likely that you are with someone compatible and you can dispel your doubts. In the event that you detect an unmet need, remember that you can always share your perception with your partner to try to remedy it.
We have to open this melon. If you think that overall a previous relationship has satisfied you more than a previous one, it’s important to tell your partner what might make you more satisfied. This way you will avoid entering into comparisons that could turn into toxic behavior.
Trust is one of the bases of any romantic relationship. That is why it is essential to openly communicate your desires to your partner. If you think, for example, that your sex life could improve in some way, you have to do your part and try to make those changes happen. This will undoubtedly have a positive impact on the relationship and help you feel more satisfied.
We should not allow the entire focus of our possible dissatisfaction to fall on the other person. If this feeling is persistent and you can’t imagine how you could be more satisfied, you will also have to reflect on what your part of the responsibility is. You may not even know what you need in a relationship. In other words, it is impossible for you to satisfy your needs if you are not clear about what they are.
If this is the case, perhaps it would be better for you to be single for a while to know your needs. On the contrary, if you have managed to satisfactorily answer all the questions, you can be sure that you are with the right person.
