They are not typical relationships, nor could they be defined as a friendship and it is not even a simple case of friends with benefits. Rather, it is something in between all of that. ‘Situationships’ consist of a relationship between two people that is characterized by a mutual attraction, of a romantic and/or sexual nature. However, neither of the two parties, or perhaps one of them is reluctant, decides to define it as something specific. To label it. Therefore, there is no clear commitment either. In this way, ‘situationships’ stagnate at an indeterminate point between a casual relationship and a formal one.
It is completely normal for both people to go on dates, introduce each other to friends, take trips together, and even meet each other’s family. But without introducing yourself as “my boyfriend” or “my girlfriend.” An ambiguous situation in which the couple’s commitment has not been made clear. And, although one might think that this usually happens in the early stages of forming a bond, nothing could be further from the truth. Situationships can last months or even years.
A couple becomes a “situationship”, mainly due to poor communication, since the issue of commitment is not put on the table with the intention of clarifying it because of how uncomfortable it is for them. This can be due to bad experiences from the past as well as emotional unavailability or a fear of commitment. However, on other occasions it is usually one of the two members of the couple who is reluctant to formalize the relationship.
The problem with this is that it can be very stressful, especially when there is no clear communication at all about the feelings you are experiencing and your expectations.
‘Situationships’ are relatively easy to identify. The clearest way to find them is the lack of labels, for example, when you avoid using terms like “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” As well as the ambiguity that exists in aspects such as commitment, exclusivity or when there is no talk about a future together or long-term plans.
If one finds oneself in a ‘situationship’, certain actions can be taken to try to deal with it in the best possible way, although it may not be easy.
