Without intending to compete with the Catalan cream, the true protagonist of the day, here is a small catalog of falsehoods with which this columnist adds to the celebration of Father’s Day. It is known that we live in days of intellectual Adamism. The true understanding of things has not been possible until the current generations took control of the world. We act before each issue as intrepid explorers in uncharted territory and parenthood was not going to be an exception.
It’s a pity that the most risky thing we practice is dispatching with our own belly button. Of course, we do it with such enthusiasm that we manage to make that small scar on the lower abdomen acquire the appearance of a galaxy to be discovered. It is already seen that such an incident can only be sustained by deception. And there are a total of eight on today’s account.
Lie number one: Nobody explains to you how difficult it is to be a father or the sacrifice that it implies. The easiest lie to dismantle. Typical of someone who has spent his life locked in the drawer of egomania, paying no attention to anything or anyone around him.
Lie number two: Being a parent today is more difficult than ever. Yoyitis has altered our perception of the world. You have to be very pretentious to believe that we live in the worst moment in history to reproduce. The difficulties may not be the same as before and some may be new. But you don’t have to be a doctor in history to notice that the statement makes water everywhere. Only those who are convinced that dawn is suspended until he decides to get up can believe it.
Lie number three: I have the right to be a father. And to be happy I want a truck. One is a father or one is not. For the suspicious: nothing to do with biological paternity.
Lie number four: We finally dare to talk about the ambivalence of feelings towards children. What a heroic walk around the house. Again the me-me-me-with me on stage. Before we joined the paternity club, weren’t there doubts, contradictions, mixed feelings? A plausible hypothesis: they were accepted more naturally by giving themselves less importance.
Lie number five: As a parent I am omnipotent. We are the father-god. Everything, without exception, depends on us. Any mistake –a word at the wrong time, without going any further– will lead to a complex or, worse still, a trauma for your offspring. This falsehood is not verbalized. But it underlies the discourse of modern parenthood. It is the most effective fuel to ensure bad living. The most pernicious troll. The helicopter parents and the heaviest of WhatsApp revere the hoax.
Lie number six: Being a parent makes you someone special. Let’s admit some truth on this point. But only on condition that breathing, eating and sleeping cause the same singularizing effect. It may make more sense to say that something that humanity as a whole has been doing since the dawn of time makes us rather ordinary beings.
Lie number seven: Others owe us something for being parents. Here again there are traces of reality. Yes, it is true that we have collaborated on the demographic replacement rate and that deserves, let’s say, a thank you for participating. But we should not expect the City Council to put our names and surnames on a square. Not even to a sad passage.
Lie number eight: To be a good father you have to be prepared. Not yet, waiting for what a hypothetical ministerial regulation says in the future. At the moment, the market offers series B seminars and hyperbolic newspaper supplements that fulfill the function of diazepam for the most restless. Since the perfect father has never existed, although there are worse and better ones, let’s be generous with our limitations. Let’s remember lie number five: we are not omnipotent.
These eight tricks can be read backwards and become indisputable certainties. That is why there is freedom of opinion. It is enough to go to any bookstore that cares for the essay section and go to the literature shelves of the navel to check it out. It does not matter if it is a woman or a man who signs each one of the many titles on the subject that have been printed recently. After all, these lines could also have been published on the first Sunday in May, Mother’s Day. That said, as we continue in March, Happy Father’s Day.
