Our mothers.
I dedicate my latest novel to you.
Because?
The role of parents has covered them. And we owe them a lot! They deserve recognition.
What mothers do you write about?
The ones that were in the 70s, the 80s, the 90s… And all the mothers.
Mine was in the 60’s.
What kind of mother was she?
She raised five children, and was docile with her husband.
My mother imposed her criteria, instead.
With his father happy?
They shared: she, a bad cop; he, good cop.
Have you novelized her?
I count ten profiles of women who, as mothers, encompass all mothers.
But tell me something else about your mother.
Determined and with a very quick mind, she captures each situation and sees the exits clearly: she is the most decisive brain I have ever met.
I’m seeing an admired daughter…
Because of her high sense of justice… As a child I saw how she sang the forty to the bank for some unfair commissions.
And with his daughter… was he very demanding?
Strict: if I got good grades, he didn’t reward me, he just said “it’s your obligationâ€.
Compliments, the fair ones?
Sobriety. No sweet talk, no cotton.
Are mothers softer today?
Mothers are under enough scrutiny for me to judge them. Each mother deals with the hegemonic social mandate at all times.
What is the common denominator of our mothers?
Being incombustible and enduring many renunciations and sacrifices thanks to knowing how to give them meaning.
What sense?
May their children achieve what they could not achieve.
And have they reached it, the children?
I am a journalist, a writer… I owe it to my mother. Also my great-grandmother.
Because?
I recorded his memories, I was 17 years old. Then I turned his testimony into my first novel, Argelagues.
And to write Our mothers?
I documented myself for a year, I wanted to profile each mother in detail…
Devoted mothers?
By force, not by choice.
Good ironers?
Very good, what a remedy. And handyman.
Good cooks?
My mother never made cannelloni.
¿No?
No cakes. For rebellion against the servants of the kitchen, for insubordination.
Mavericks?
As far as it could.
Dependent or not on the husband?
My parents agreed on important decisions.
Do your friends tell you that about their mothers or…?
Most of them tell me that their mothers didn’t make big decisions without their husband’s validation, certainly.
Did they throw canitas in the air? Not mine!
That remained a secret, just like an abortion during her bachelorhood…
And few later separated.
As a child all my friends had their parents together, while today in a high school classroom it is very rare to find a teenager without separated parents.
The mothers are getting older, until they lead to the Obregón case.
To be a mother, age matters less than maturity, than mastering the reins of your life. And I will not judge Obregón or any other woman, they receive enough.
But you do have an opinion on surrogate motherhood…
It is an extreme capitalist extractivism, already carried to the activity of the wombs.
Between an absorbing mother and a distant mother, what do you think is preferable?
We children live in the dilemma between “look, mom!†and the “leave me, mom!”. Children are very selfish: we demand all of the mother’s attention from her but without accepting any control over us.
What has been the unfulfilled dream of our mothers?
Have a more autonomous life, since they have been too many caregivers for others. And do a job you like.
What phrase would best summarize our mothers?
“I haven’t had a moment all day to sit on the couch.”
Oh, that’s good, it sounds to me, it sounds to me…
This phrase means, deep down, this: “I have not been able to think of myself in a lifetime.”
Very accurate translation.
My colleague Andrea Gumes pointed it out to me the other day, and it’s true: our mothers, without complaints, have needed to be more themselves.
