Have you ever felt paralyzed, like you couldn’t move forward in life? Maybe it’s as if you can’t forget a trauma or a heartbreak, or access the passion or enthusiasm that once came so easily. Maybe you’re so unmotivated at work that you spend time fantasizing about “escaping” to some place you can’t name. Whatever the reason, you have no idea what to do, what change to make, what specialist to see, or maybe even how to get out of bed.
In life it is natural that we all, at some point, feel stuck. Our vitality must flow. So what do we do when, no matter how hard we try to get it, we only get more stuck? What can we do about it? How can we respond when the world seems to be slipping away from us and we can do nothing but watch, motionless? Turning toward life requires us to accept what life offers us, but what happens when we feel so exhausted or hurt that we become paralyzed and unable to open ourselves to what comes next?
To answer those questions, let’s start by exploring what it means to feel physically “stuck.”
I once cared for an intelligent, self-aware eighty-year-old woman who had been suffering from severe intestinal obstructions for several months. Theresa had consulted other doctors and had done everything she could physically, but the blockage persisted. She arrived at my office devastated and clearly uncomfortable.
“I don’t want to live like this for the rest of my life,” he said.
We started talking about his diet, which wasn’t wonderful, but it wasn’t terrible either. He had modified it significantly to treat her constipation, but it hadn’t worked much. Then we talked about how much water she drank and how often she exercised. Since nothing seemed wrong, we moved on to more holistic questions about her life in general: her emotions, her social support, what brought joy and meaning to her life. As she spoke, I noticed that she seemed increasingly closed to my questions. He would pause and look at me after I formulated each one, pursing his lips slightly as if trying to understand my point before reluctantly giving a response.
—What about your dreams? -I asked for-. When you are asleep, does your being try to tell you something?
-My dreams? What do my dreams have to do with this? —Theresa said, leaning back on the chair with her arms crossed, holding them slightly in frustration.
The way he looked at me made it clear that he didn’t like me straying from the topic we were discussing.
The problem was that, from my perspective, those questions had a lot to do with the topic. Diet, exercise and hydration are an excellent start when it comes to problems that affect digestion. Water is important because it helps break down the food we eat and allows the body to absorb nutrients and then helps dispose of waste. Our diet is crucial, because the more whole foods we eat, the more fiber we eat, and that helps stimulate the intestines to move food and nutrients through the body. Exercise is important because it increases blood flow to your muscles and intestines to help them do their job. Do you see the pattern? Our body works because we are made to move.
However, from a holistic point of view, Theresa’s problem pointed to something much bigger. Our digestion is a symbol of how we accept the world and how we let it move through us. Our thoughts and emotions can also affect digestion, as they create and release tension around the organs and this has an impact on how they function. Although Theresa didn’t really want to talk about the other aspects of her life, I tried to get some details to find out what was happening to her.
In the end he admitted that he felt sad. When I asked her why, she reluctantly explained to me that she had lost someone close…and someone else…and someone else. In the end, she said that she had lost five close friends and family in the previous year. She looked at the ceiling as she said it and then at the floor; She avoided looking me directly in the eyes.
—Have you mourned? -I asked for.
She looked at me strangely.
-Of course. I’m sad.
Something about his response seemed too simplistic to me, as if he considered pain a reaction, not an experience; as something that happens, not something we do. There seemed to be something stuck in his response, just like there was something stuck in his intestines. As we talked about her pain, she became more and more nervous. I saw that her body responded to her emotional state. The effect was undeniable: her tension washed over her and was visible in her face, her posture, her fingers, her voice. By then she had already uncrossed her arms, but she had her hands clasped in her lap.
At that moment I knew I had found an opening. To understand how she digested food, we first had to see how she digested her experience of loss.
Western medicine does not usually relate physical problems to mental or emotional states. We are trained to consider organs in isolation or focus on mechanical problems such as diet and posture, rather than asking patients, “What do you think you are holding in your stomach?”, or “What else is not there?” working in your life?” However, people know what they are stuck on in life and can identify it if asked.
Theresa’s intestines were stuck. But there are many ways in which our body slows down or perhaps even stops completely. Let’s think about an athlete who goes through a period of her life in which she is unable to move due to an injury. Sometimes women’s menstrual cycles become irregular or stop altogether during their childbearing years.
We can also easily get stuck psychologically, often due to trauma. It’s as if our brain is in a loop and sometimes it really is: we have found a well-worn neural path and we have delved deeper into it.
We seem to have a deep unconscious understanding that life must move. For this reason it is very obvious when things have stopped moving, even if we still don’t know what to do. Consequently, this is my second secret: all life needs to move. Life itself is always in motion, so aligning with our life force means we must always look for the flow within us.
Although the body carries out autonomous movement processes, it is important that we also move consciously. Research on telomeres, the ends of chromosomes, found that even ten minutes of brisk walking a day is associated with increased life expectancy. Any doctor will tell us that exercise is essential for relieving stress and depression, because it sends signals to the brain to release hormones that make us feel good and has profound benefits for physical health, both in the short and long term. This is supported by studies around the world indicating that some of the longest life expectancies are found in cultures with a lifestyle that requires people to walk every day. Exercise not only helps the body, but also the mind. It has notable positive effects on mood and cognition, so it’s essential that we integrate movement into our lives. There are many factors at play here, but, to a large extent, much of what science suggests is logical. Rest promotes tension and when we retain tension in the body we limit the circulatory, digestive and nervous systems, making it difficult for our body to obtain nutrients.
Additionally, when we do not release emotions and energy stagnates, we compromise the lymphatic system, the organs and tissues that fight infections and get rid of toxins in the body. That is why it is so important to make the body work. I myself prioritize getting massages almost every week at this stage of my life. Although the heart moves blood through the body, lymph does not have an organ to move it: it moves when we move and stops when we stop.
Lack of movement also affects the endocrine system, which is the network of glands that produce and move hormones to specific tissues and organs in the body. For example, when the adrenal glands become blocked, we become stuck in fear, anger, judgment, and disappointment. It is difficult for us to smile, laugh and love, which would allow us to end that blockage.
I consider anger to be a problem that is largely due to the adrenals. Righteous anger is a quick, limited reaction to a stimulus and shows that the adrenals are working. But the fact that the adrenals work chronically overactive is often related to a type of anger that is perceived as stagnant and not moving, such as resentment. This can lead to a variety of health problems that weaken the body faster. Forgiveness allows life to move again, while resentment keeps it stuck. Starting from this metaphor, movement is much more than just pumping blood and stimulating lymph; It is an ethical principle that we can integrate into every aspect of our lives.
Like most of my secrets to health and happiness, the above is backed by very ancient knowledge. The truth is, no matter how stuck we are, life itself is always in motion. The concept of anicca, as often transliterated in Buddhist texts, or anitya, which is the more common term in Hindu texts, is ancient. This concept focuses on impermanence: that life is always changing and suffering comes when we try to stop its flow.
Sometimes this means letting life move through us and around us without stopping it; Other times it means that we actually get up and move ourselves. This applies in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms. Understanding the power of movement can get us through almost anything. It is a sacred truth that helps us in our worst moments and begins when we realize that being stuck is, in itself, an illusion.
