There are friends we keep since childhood. Others we may not even know exactly how they came into our lives. But what happens when we are uncomfortable in the presence of a friend? Being overconfident or being rude can really take a toll on our mental health to the point where meeting up with an old friend is anxiety-provoking. If the discomfort lasts for the moment, the time has come to say goodbye because, even if you don’t know it yet, you have a toxic friend.
We all have in our heads the ideal image of friendship: a healthy relationship with someone faithful with whom you trust enough to share the good and bad moments, makes us happy and gives us some stability. Although this is not always the case, we tend to idealize friends and turn a blind eye when they give us bad advice or disappoint us. It is difficult to realize the dynamics in which a friendship relationship has become stagnant and it can be painful to give it a door, even if it does not make you happy.
A toxic friendship is not reciprocated. If the balance between what you give and what you receive is negative, then you should rethink keeping that person as a friend. It is about a person who has us used to disappointments, rudeness and who only remembers you when it suits her. It is also usually someone who takes an excess of confidence to make unfortunate jokes in public or who is constantly reminding you of your mistakes, even if it is in a veiled way. Deliver me, God from calm waters… These may be signs that, if they persist over time, they really don’t like how you are.
In general, we look for friends to comfort us and make us feel better when we are going through a trance of any kind. If the people you confide in make you feel even worse after talking to them, you may be dealing with a toxic friend. For example, if instead of listening to you or advising you coldly after an argument with your partner, he encourages you to end the relationship without consideration, he is in a way restricting our behavior and our emotions. He may not respect or even be jealous of the rest of the people you love. These behaviors will eventually create a climate of discomfort and discomfort, contrary to a healthy friendship, so you should think about spending less time with this type of person.
The first thing you should do is accept reality. Acknowledging the problem is the first step in facing the difficult and painful process of disengaging with the other person. If, in fact, you feel sad, anxious or restless before and after sharing moments with a friend, you should prepare to end the relationship. Think about what you want to say and anticipate the possible scenarios. Above all, you must remain calm and treat the other with respect. Communicate assertively, express yourself honestly and try to understand the reasons and opinions of the other, avoiding falling into reproaches.
It is important that when you have taken the step, you do not feel guilty for having released a ballast that hurt you or made you unhappy. Forgive your former friend and go on with your life without rancor and with self-love. Try to get away from the people or places you had in common to avoid regret or save yourself from an unpleasant situation. But only for a while, because, after all, what else do you owe that person?
